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Thread: Chuck Norris

  1. #71

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    My friend and karate instructor (Johnny Gorrell) was on Walker Texas Ranger. He got his ass kicked by the bad guy.

    I'd say Johnny Gorrell could kick Chuck's ass. Just saying........and I'd bet money on it. LMFAO!!!

  2. #72
    DSB, Monky, & Spyder's Main Squeeze patrick0685's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mevshooter View Post
    Best political commercial EVER.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjYv2YW6azE
    now thats a good commercial
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    "I don't listen to the women I do know, why would I listen to some crazy bitch from the ocean?" ~ Spyder

  3. #73
    Zombie Slayer wctriumph's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."
    George S. Patton

    "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
    Dwight D. Eisenhower

    "Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
    John F. Kennedy

    ?A motorcycle is a bicycle with a pandemonium attachment, and is designed for the special use of mechanical geniuses, daredevils and lunatics.?
    George Fitch. c 1916.

  4. #74
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    Sometimes, just for fun, Chuck Norris likes to stroll around the summit of Mt. Everest while smoking a cigar.
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  5. #75
    Gong Shooter hawk1's Avatar
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    When Chuck Norris gets drunk, he doesn't throw up... he throws down.

  6. #76
    Gong Shooter hawk1's Avatar
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    Achilles is supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot: the Achilles tendon. Notice, there is no Chuck Norris tendon.

  7. #77
    Gong Shooter hawk1's Avatar
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    The 'c' in Einstein's 'E = mc^2' equation originally stood for Chuck Norris. But Einstein realized no human mind could fully grasp the concept of Chuck Norris multiplied by Chuck Norris, so he dumbed it down to something easier to understand, like the speed of light.

  8. #78
    Gong Shooter hawk1's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris has been the "Employee of the Month" at the buffet down the street from me every month since they've opened. He's never even been there.

  9. #79
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    How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

    All of it.

  10. #80
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    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

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