Today's funny

[henpecked]

A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, “Don’t enter that church, you damn fool !!!”
His wife asks him, “What are you watching?”
Husband replies, “Our bloody wedding video”
————————————————————————————
Life is like a penis.
Soft and hanging freely.
It’s women that make it hard
————————————————————————————
I said to the wife, “Get me a newspaper”
“Don’t be silly,” she said “You can borrow my iPad”
That spider never knew what fucking hit it.
———————————————————————–
I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn’t like it.
She says that it makes her sleepy and her ass sore.

[Melvin]

The Williams sisters were recently discussing the problem of drugs in the
warm-up room before a doubles match.

"I think Dad might be slipping us steroids," whispered Serena.

"What makes you say that?" replied a stunned Venus.



"Well", started Serena embarrassingly, "I've started to grow hair on parts
of my body that have never had hair before!"

"Shit ... like where?" Venus asked.

"Like all over my balls!" Serena replied.