Today's funny

[TSOTSI]

WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK...

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said , 'Yes you are correct . But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

[Dr_Fwd]

Now we have to see the picture

[Monky]

DSB is single if you're looking for a man..

He's a little 'off'.. but if you're ugly it works.

[KevDen2005]

Good one. I alwasy love when the joke takes an unexpected turn

[rockhound]

[rofl2][rofl2][rofl2]

[Mazin]

I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

Don't worry maybe someday you will...

[Ronin13]

Now we have to see the picture

Yes, for the 2nd time in my tenure on this forum I get to drop it!

[DSB OUTDOORS]

DSB is single if you're looking for a man..

He's a little 'off'.. but if you're ugly it works.

Yes, yes I am. Please send pics of the RV, Boat, ATV, and any Firearms you own to DSB OUTDOORS. Thanks.

[TSOTSI]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted.

"I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."
She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".
"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.
She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"
So I told her to f..k off.

[Bailey Guns]

That's funny!