How fights start

[Mtn.man]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"





And then the fight started...

[SouthPaw]

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel Horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
Compliment."
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'


And then the fight started.....

__________________________________________________ _________

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
Order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
HeI took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
Order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah, she can order for herself."


And then the fight started...
__________________________________________________ _________

Those are probably my two favorite!

[Mazin]

A couple has been married for 20 years and one night the wife was getting undressed and asked the husband, "what did you think the first time you saw me naked". He replied "I wanted to suck your titties dry". Then she ask "well what do you think now?", with a small pause he said " I think I did a good job".


Then the fight started...

[TFOGGER]

My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ”Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And then the fight started….

[TFOGGER]

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ”I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”
So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”
And then the fight started…..

[Ronin13]

I said to the wife during breakfast, "I woke up at 3am and stared at you, I thought you looked so beautiful." "Aw thanks," she said. "What made you think I looked beautiful?" I replied, "because you looked dead."
And then the fight started...

[Scanker19]

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ”I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”
So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”
And then the fight started…..

[Irving]

Irving has 11,366 (10.94 posts per day) and is Zombie Slayer Extordinaire. He spends a lot of time on the internet. It makes Gloria mad. She posts things when he steps away for a second. She laughs about it. And then the fight started.

[Irving]

And then Gloria wins!

[Irving]

And then she farts on him!