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A couple has been married for 20 years and one night the wife was getting undressed and asked the husband, "what did you think the first time you saw me naked". He replied "I wanted to suck your titties dry". Then she ask "well what do you think now?", with a small pause he said " I think I did a good job".
Then the fight started...
My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ”Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And then the fight started….
Light a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...
Discussion is an exchange of intelligence. Argument is an exchange of
ignorance. Ever found a liberal that you can have a discussion with?
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ”I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”
So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”
And then the fight started…..
Light a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...
Discussion is an exchange of intelligence. Argument is an exchange of
ignorance. Ever found a liberal that you can have a discussion with?
I said to the wife during breakfast, "I woke up at 3am and stared at you, I thought you looked so beautiful." "Aw thanks," she said. "What made you think I looked beautiful?" I replied, "because you looked dead."
And then the fight started...
"There is no news in the truth, and no truth in the news."
"The revolution will not be televised... Instead it will be filmed from multiple angles via cell phone cameras, promptly uploaded to YouTube, Tweeted about, and then shared on Facebook, pending a Wi-Fi connection."
Originally Posted by TFOGGER
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Haw haw haw?..
My wife got mad at her Prius and said she wanted to trade it in for something that goes 0 to 250 in three seconds. I tried to save some money and bought her a scale.
Then the fight started...
Thanks folks, I really needed that today!!
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Wedding Night
On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe.The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh," he exclaims, "you are so beautiful, let me take your picture."
Puzzled she asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever."
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower.
He comes out wearing his robe. "We are married now," the new wife says. "You can open your robe!"
At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh, my! Let me get a picture."
He beams and asks, "Why?"
She answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"
AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED.....
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