Armed and dangerous, be on the look out.

[Robby30-06]

I would be less embarrassed to tell the truth and say I accidentally shot myself than to say I got owned by my cat.

[68Charger]

I would be less embarrassed to tell the truth and say I accidentally shot myself than to say I got owned by my cat.

No doubt... "I got shot by a pussy"

[Monky]

No doubt... "I got shot by a pussy"

But aren't all of us 'pussy' for owning guns in the first place! Only cops need them

[Drilldov2.0]

Is this the FFA thread? I smell horse shit.

[BPTactical]

Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Day 987- I have found the male captors small device that he is obviously obsessed with. He pays more attention to it than the female captor. It must be important to him. Perhaps if I can manage to break it he will be very upset and die of a coronary attack. In my attempt to break it while I was feigning affection to him it fell off of the large box he has more items similar to this one in. As it it hit the floor it made this very loud noise. I left immediatley only to return to see the male captor, cowering on the floor leaking some form of fluid that tasted quite good. The female captor was quite upset and called the male captor "A total dumbass" and "stupid son of a bitch" which just agitated the male captor even more. I must capitalize on this device and use it to my advantage. I must figure out how to gain entry into the large box where more of these items are stored. It appears that I may be able to place more of these devices throughout my confinment space so my assisination attempt may be continued. I shall have to wait for the male captors return however. This large box on wheels that had many strange lights upon it with more male captors in strange coverings took him away.

To be continued......................................... ..........................

[Ridge]

Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Day 987- I have found the male captors firearm. As my previous attempts to assasinate him have been unsuccessful I will attempt using this device, making it look like an accident............

Holy shit this is brilliant!

[TFOGGER]

I own a Keltec. There's no f**kin way it went of by being dropped. Not off of a gun safe, not out of an airplane.

The cat is obviously a Persian assassin.


LOL @ Bert....

[Akyla]

Bert- you have a twisted mind...it's brilliant.

Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Day 987- I have found the male captors firearm. As my previous attempts to assasinate him have been unsuccessful I will attempt using this device, making it look like an accident............

[BPTactical]

I cannot take full credit-It is shamelessly plagerized from "Diary of a cat"
The last paragraph is mine however and now edited.