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  1. #1
    Banned
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    Default Actual passport app.

    ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT

    Dear Mrs. Ms. Or Sir:
    ...

    I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

    How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

    For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?

    My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY income tax form I've filed for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license, it's on the last eight damn passports I've had, it's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all those census forms that we have to do at election times.

    Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.

    Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit!

    You send the application to my house, then you ask me for
    my #*&#%*& address.

    What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!

    Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?

    If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

    Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another #*@&#^@*@& copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.

    Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization. And it would be too logical for the @&^*^%@% government.

    You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off. Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it's really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile... Hey, you know why we can't smile?

    We're totally pissed off!

    Signed

    - An Irate Citizen.

    P.S. Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor....... WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA!

    And you assholes want to run our health care system?????

  2. #2
    Fleeing Idaho to get IKEA Bailey Guns's Avatar
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    I totally feel like that almost every time I deal with the .gov.
    Stella - my best girl ever.
    11/04/1994 - 12/23/2010



    Don't wanna get shot by the police?
    "Stop Resisting Arrest!"


  3. #3
    The lpgunwhore
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    Default

    Must be a terrorist.

  4. #4
    Machine Gunner
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    Brian H
    Longmont CO

    "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."

  5. #5
    SeƱor Bag o' Crap Scanker19's Avatar
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    I too wish identity theft was easier.
    Last edited by Scanker19; 07-12-2012 at 19:52.
    Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    Haw haw haw?..

  6. #6
    If I had a son he would look like....Ben SideShow Bob's Avatar
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    I would think that letter just got your name put on the "No Fly List" or at least the "Use the cattle insemination glove for the rectal cavity search list". Have fun driving to a sandy beach within the USA.........
    My T.P. wheeling and dealing feedback is here.

    Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one, and it stinks more than mine.


    Yo Homie, That my chainsaw ?



    Pati, improbe et vince

  7. #7
    Guest
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    Quote Originally Posted by lpgasman View Post
    Must be a terrorist.
    my thoughts too. the next letter will be a no fly list form

    loved it

  8. #8
    Grand Master Know It All Sharpienads's Avatar
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    That's awesome.
    Kyle

    Girlscouts? Hmmm, I don't know... I think it's kinda dangerous to teach young girls self esteem and leadership skills.

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