He crapped oh your chair because you gave him such a lowly treat.
"Animal cracker? What, no ritz? A**hole! *deuce*"
^^^This. Apparently the bird has quality taste in crackers. Stop being so cheap. Next time break out the good stuff & he won't leave you a nifty little present on your chair. Lesson learned.
The character of a man can be judged by how he treats those who can do nothing for him