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A fellow I know was camping in the Rockies and brought along a .44 magnum in case of bear attack. Well, at 0 dark hundred a grizzly walked into his campsite and started rolling him around like a big burrito. The .44 is strapped to his side and he is zipped up tight in one of those "mummy" style cold weather sleeping bags and is unable to draw it . . . so he commences shrieking like a little girl. Disgusted, the bear walked away.
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