1. Compensated Endorser. Life insurance, diabetes test kits, whatever. I'll wear a suit and be in a commercial for it.

2. Gentleman Adventurer. I think being rich is a prerequisite for this job but I'd still put in an application.

3. Low-level judge on America's Got Talent to witness that unfiltered freak show and I'd get to travel.

Runner Up - I once chatted with a guy that tested jet engines by throwing various frozen birds into them. It's a REAL job. Although it's pretty morbid and probably doesn't smell that great, it was one of the most fascinating job descriptions I've ever heard.