More Beard issues for the Hood Terrorist.

[Scanker19]

http://www.duffelblog.com/2012/10/ni...to-save-beard/

FORT HOOD, TX – In a last minute effort to save the life of his beard, Fort Hood shooting suspect Major Nidal Hasan told a military panel that he cannot shave due to his Amish faith.

The Amish, or Pennsylvania Dutch, are known for simple living, plain dress, and their traditionalist Christian fellowship.

“As a proud Amishman, I must wear my beard in keeping with my religion,” Hasan said today, to a courtroom of military members who were clearly shocked at the new revelation.

The Army psychologist is facing court martial on murder charges stemming from a November 2009 attack at the base. Witnesses reported Hasan shouting “Allah Akbar”, or “God is Great” in Arabic, before allegedly opening fire on fellow soldiers.

“Nidal is clearly being singled out here for his religious views,” said criminal defense attorney Lawrence Gilder. “He is a pious, hard-working Amish man from a good family. In fact, our defense will demonstrate that the Major has an alibi at the time of attack: he was milking 3 cows and afterwards he made love to his pet goat, Walter.”

Most outsiders assumed from Hasan’s name, his parents’ Palestinian background, and his business card tagline of “Soldier of Allah”, that he was Muslim. The judge, Col. Jeffrey Tribley, pressed Hasan for more information on this discrepancy.

“Yes sir. I am Muslim and Amish,” Hasan responded. “This of course means that my beard is two-times as important to my religion, and under religious exceptions in the UCMJ, it is required.”

According to the Duffel Blog’s legal analysts, the case for Hasan’s beard is strong.

“Yeah bro, seriously. He’s definitely got a strong argument for the beard,” said Barracks Lawyer PFC Evan Rodriguez. “I’m pretty sure he can claim this whole trial is hazing and get it thrown out too.”

But some detractors say this latest diversion distracts from the real issues.

“The fact that we have to sit here and see news stories over and over about this man’s beard when he’s on trial for murder is lunacy,” said CSM Robert Altman. “What are some of the more important issues at stake here that many have been ignoring? Well, here’s a few: he hasn’t worn his dogtags in months. I’ve seen him in white socks on quite a few occasions.”

“I mean really, white socks. This son of a bitch needs to be executed for that. Let the Army make an example out of him, right?,” added Altman.

Lawyers for Hasan continue to press for beard leniency, but have said that if he is forcibly shaved, they will motion to dismiss the case on the grounds that their client would be “forced to endure a hate crime.”

[Bailey Guns]

"This of course means that my beard is two-times as important to my religion..."

LMAO!

[Sparky]

Making love to his goat Walter.

[BPTactical]

"I am Amish and Muslim"
Bullshit, your a United States military officer accused of 13 counts of murder witnessed by numerous people shouting "Allah Ahkbar" while perpitrating your crime.
Beard or no beard, execute the POS.

[cebeu]

Cut his phuckin' head-off, then he nor we need to be bothered with worthless symbolism.

[bogie]

Taqiyya: muslim deceives the infidel through treachery to avoid persecution.

[speedysst]

Cut his phuckin' head-off, then he nor we need to be bothered with worthless symbolism.

New from Shick: The Double Mega Xtreme razor. You will NEVER have to shave again!

[BushMasterBoy]

If I was president I would order a speedy trial. If found guilty, I would order a speedy execution. It has almost been 3 years since his dastardly deed. US Disciplinary Barracks and the needle...

[BPTactical]

If I was president I would order a speedy trial. If found guilty, I would order a speedy execution. It has almost been 3 years since his dastardly deed. US Disciplinary Barracks and the needle...

And yet our benevolent leader still has not referred to is as an act of terrorism.

[TFOGGER]

Wow....you guys need to get your satire meters recalibrated...Hint: think "The Onion, Boulder's most respected news source"