The problem is that, as far as I know, she did receive the "simple pat down". Unacceptable. That sort of groping, especially in front of everybody, is disgusting, and would (or should) be illegal in any other circumstance I can think of, except maybe right before you were being thrown in prison.
Unfortunately, I have to fly a lot for work, so I don't really have a choice most of the time. But we decided that we will be driving from now on. We shouldn't have to just "accept that's what it takes to fly in an airplane". I do not believe that wanting to fly on a plane should force you to accept some creep federal agent feeling your breasts. Wanting to fly shouldn't mean you have to give up your 4A protected rights. There has got to be a better way. Until there is, we will drive.