Advice on potential dangerous situation ...

[Spdu4ia]

I haven't been a member here long but have gotten a lot of valuable advice from you guys so I will tell you a story and you tell me what you think should be my next course of action...

My wife has started to have some trouble with an old friend. She has known this guy for about 30 years . They were close friends in middle and high school and kept in touch through college and up until about 6 years ago when he pronounced his dying love for her . She did not reciprocate and told him he was mistaken and that they were only friends and have only ever been friends all their lives and that she was married and he needed to respect that. He does work overseas and is in and out of the country , he has been married 4 times and seems to contact her every time he gets divorced since he says, "he compares every other woman to her " . All of this happened in Louisiana where she lived all her life. We moved here to colorado about 3 years ago. We usually would hear from him every few years for a few weeks and then he would go dig a hole somewhere and disappear.

Last week he started texting her again about how she was the only one and that he was lost without her. He then showed up to her work to wait for her to get off and texted her that he was waiting outside for her to "decide his fate". Luckily she had gone home early and was at home during this time (she did not tell him that) and just told him she wouldn't see him and that it wasn't healthy what he is doing and he stopped texting. The next day while I was at work he texted her small talk and she ignored him and as soon as I got home from work he stopped. I suspect he was watching our neighborhood. We found out he is living in Denver now weirdly enough recently.

We filed a report with the local police department so that thy have a record of the incident. Nothing criminal "yet" but she wanted them to be aware. We both decided didn't want to ruin his life with a a restraining order yet since if he has government contracts to work overseas I'm sure that would hinder that and send him over the edge to do something....anything. We did not tell him we filled anything yet because we did not want to escalate him.

Last night he started texting again and she told him he crossed the line and that he was making her uncomfortable and that they could not be friends and that she did not want to have any contact with him any longer. He then said fine she "would not see him again" but then followed with more text saying he was going to move to Colorado Springs for work. She didn't reply to any of this because its just a temp to get her to have dialogue. The texts stopped last night but who knows what he will do next.

We are both CCW holders and try to constantly be aware of our surroundings anyway but aside from setting up a trench around the house I worry about her home alone or going to work and getting off at night. I guess this is more of a vent and to get others opinions on the situation and ideas of how to handle this. Thanks for listening.

[Byte Stryke]

too much consideration for him, not enough for yourselves.
GET AN EPO! Change phone Numbers at a Minimum.

Consider notifying his command. even as a contractor we are under full authority of the UCMJ. Those that do not think so are delusional.

DO NOT underestimate the ability of an attacker to trip and go off.
http://georgiapacking.org/forum/view...hp?f=6&t=79966

[HBARleatherneck]

im just curious...

how did he find her in Colorado?
how did he get her phone number?

does you wife want to be found?

im not implying she does, but how does someone out of her life, get her personal contact information? If she hasnt changed her number since 6 years ago, she needs to. and if she places all her life on facebook, she shouldnt.

if it goes to far, call the police. thats what they are for. if he doesnt respect the police and keeps at it. It seems as you are both potentially prepared for that too.

[theGinsue]

im just curious...

how did he find her in Colorado?
how did he get her phone number?

does you wife want to be found?

im not implying she does, but how does someone out of her life, get her personal contact information? If she hasnt changed her number since 6 years ago, she needs to. and if she places all her life on facebook, she shouldnt.

if it goes to far, call the police. thats what they are for. if he doesnt respect the police and keeps at it. It seems as you are both potentially prepared for that too.

I've always thought I had exceptional skills in finding people. I found put how much of an amateur I was from an experience I had.

Several years ago while returning from a TDY, I met a woman in a restaurant in the Orlando airport (she was sitting next to me at the counter). In the course of the conversation, I told her my FIRST name and that I was in the Air Force. I must have also told her I was returning to Colorado Springs. She was taking the same flight from Orlando to Denver, but as I recall, she was flying on to Vegas or somewhere in CA. She worked for some insurance company as an auditor/investigator.

During the flight, she walks by my seat and hands me a note; she's attracted to me. I make it clear I'm married. Less than a week later, I got a call at my desk at work - from her. Somehow she tracked me down without me ever telling her my last name or which of the 4 AF bases in the Springs I worked at. After several of these calls, I insisted she stop contacting me.

I didn't hear from her for almost 2 years. In the mean time, I PCS'd to outside of Boston, MA. While there, I created a new eMail address for my Comcast account, but the email account didn't use my actual name. Wouldn't you know it, I started getting eMail from her - she'd found me again. This woman has some seriously mad tracking skills that even the CIA could learn from. After a couple of months, she finally stopped.

Before retiring and leaving MA, I created a new yahoo mail account with a whole new username. I moved back to the Springs and all was good for about 2 years. Then, out of the blue, I hear from her again. She was married now. She sent me links and invites to her webcam to have video chats. I ignored her and finally, she stopped. I haven't heard from her in almost 5 years, but I suspect, if she wanted, she could find me again at any point.

Moral of the story.... Some folks have almost magical abilities for finding people and it always seems to be the nuts.

[lead_magnet]

I've always thought I had exceptional skills in finding people. I found put how much of an amateur I was from an experience I had.

Several years ago while returning from a TDY, I met a woman in a restaurant in the Orlando airport (she was sitting next to me at the counter). In the course of the conversation, I told her my FIRST name and that I was in the Air Force. I must have also told her I was returning to Colorado Springs. She was taking the same flight from Orlando to Denver, but as I recall, she was flying on to Vegas or somewhere in CA. She worked for some insurance company as an auditor/investigator.

During the flight, she walks by my seat and hands me a note; she's attracted to me. I make it clear I'm married. Less than a week later, I got a call at my desk at work - from her. Somehow she tracked me down without me ever telling her my last name or which of the 4 AF bases in the Springs I worked at. After several of these calls, I insisted she stop contacting me.

I didn't hear from her for almost 2 years. In the mean time, I PCS'd to outside of Boston, MA. While there, I created a new eMail address for my Comcast account, but the email account didn't use my actual name. Wouldn't you know it, I started getting eMail from her - she'd found me again. This woman has some seriously mad tracking skills that even the CIA could learn from. After a couple of months, she finally stopped.

Before retiring and leaving MA, I created a new yahoo mail account with a whole new username. I moved back to the Springs and all was good for about 2 years. Then, out of the blue, I hear from her again. She was married now. She sent me links and invites to her webcam to have video chats. I ignored her and finally, she stopped. I haven't heard from her in almost 5 years, but I suspect, if she wanted, she could find me again at any point.

Moral of the story.... Some folks have almost magical abilities for finding people and it always seems to be the nuts.

You suck at telling stories, and have left out critical data.

Was she hot?

[SuperiorDG]

You suck at telling stories, and have left out critical data.

Was she hot?

Yea I bet she was hot like this.

[Spdu4ia]

We they've been casual friends since high school so Facebook (which I don't do and am totally against) and mutual friends make it easy to find out what city someone lives in and I don't think she has ever changed her number, he didn't cross the line and start the crazy talk until about two weeks ago. After the first time he told her how he felt 6 years ago and she told him he was mistaken he then said how he didn't mean it like that and that he was ok being friends and all that jazz.

im not 100% clear exactly even what he does or who he works for . I know he goes overseas ever few years to do some kind of work. Is there a way I can find that out?

she is fully aware of how psycho paths work . She used to work at a women's only emergency hospital and would take care of cases of disturbing nature and we both work in the medical field for the past 12 years. I used to tell her not to watch all those shows on tv about people that snapped or went crazy but now I'm glad she does and is slightly paranoid .

[colo-pr]

I don't understand why she don't change the phone number and forget the story? Or most simple Don't respond any simple text or call! Easy!!!!

[colo-pr]

I'm sorry but if a friend of my wife say that he dying for love her my wife cut everything immediately!!!

She need change the phone number, don't respond any text and make some adjustment in FB (maybe disable the location option)

I'm sorry my friend but if she don't want to make this changes she like talk to him, is simple!

[Ronin13]

I'm sorry but if a friend of my wife say that he dying for love her my wife cut everything immediately!!!

She need change the phone number, don't respond any text and make some adjustment in FB (maybe disable the location option)

I'm sorry my friend but if she don't want to make this changes she like talk to him, is simple!

Sorry to derail, but woah buddy... my grammar and syntax alarms are ringing!

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled broadcast- follow what Byte said at the very least- get an RO and make sure to document EVERYTHING! Get a copy of your wife's phone records (you can usually download these) and have a log of every text, call, and time/date for them. Take this to your local PD. I have a friend who had a stalker that wouldn't leave her alone- she couldn't change her number because it was provided by her job, she got the RO, guy didn't respect the limits, and ended up behind bars. I know you don't want to have someone put away, but if there is a potential for danger here (which it would appear so) I'd rather this loon get locked up than something bad happen to you or the missus. Good luck!