Advice on potential dangerous situation ...

[Mountain Man]

I'm going to re-enforce a lot of what has already been said. I can not stress enough the need to to keep a log of events. A simple call or text here and there will not make a stalking case. Stalking is a complicated case and it generally takes time to make a case. Literally keep a book or excel sheet of every sighting and contact you have had. Make notes of the dates and times. Make sure you have a record of any conversation where you and more importantly she has told him to stop all contact. Then make sure that both of you don't initiate any contact with him. If he continues there can be criminal charges. Usually harassment. This can be difficult if he does call at odd hours or multiple times. Another reason to log things.

If he continues contact or makes a single (even vague) threat get a restraining order. Its a piece of paper but a piece of paper that if he violates it will get him a mandatory trip to jail.

If you see him write down his vehicle description and a plate, if you can get it without following the guy. If you see him around where you live I recommend letting your neighbors know. More eyes are always good.


Physical security is always a good idea. Digital security cameras are relatively inexpensive and the ability to record evidence is great. Especially if there is a restraining order in place. A handy bit of advice. if you do get a restraining order and you see him take a picture if you can. Even with the camera on your phone. Otherwise its your word against his unless its a public place with video cameras that record.

At this point I would be less worried about his well being and be more worried about you and your wife. From what you have said it sounds like the guy has issues.

If you do these things it will help you deal with law Enforcement and the Prosecution if it comes to that. It gives them the tools to help you. Its as close as you are going to get to a win-win situation.

[NMB2]

I'm sorry but if a friend of my wife say that he dying for love her my wife cut everything immediately!!!

She need change the phone number, don't respond any text and make some adjustment in FB (maybe disable the location option)

I'm sorry my friend but if she don't want to make this changes she like talk to him, is simple!

[HBARleatherneck]

he is from Puerto Rico, how about cutting him some slack?

[cofi]

he is from Puerto Rico, how about cutting him some slack?

and he speaks better english then me

[BPTactical]

and he speaks better english then me

Jerseynese DOES NOT qualify as English.......

[PugnacAutMortem]

One of the best lines in the whole movie!

[Spdu4ia]

I'll definitely look into the TPO . We are keeping full records of everything and all contact has been in text form that we are keeping , all time stamped. At this point we are hoping he has gotten the point and there will be no further communication. There definitely won't be from our side. If there is then we will inform him of our next action of a RO and go from there. Currently he doesn't know we've made a report and spoken to the police. I have no intention of placing his well being over my family,

[PugnacAutMortem]

I'll definitely look into the TPO . We are keeping full records of everything and all contact has been in text form that we are keeping , all time stamped. At this point we are hoping he has gotten the point and there will be no further communication. There definitely won't be from our side. If there is then we will inform him of our next action of a RO and go from there. Currently he doesn't know we've made a report and spoken to the police. I have no intention of placing his well being over my family,

Honestly...if you're not legally obligated to inform him you are getting a RO I wouldn't. If he tries to contact again just go get the RO. The old addage is true...actions speak louder than words.

[Spdu4ia]

She has stopped responding after telling him to stop contact per the instruction of the officer that took the statement . There needed to be "a line drawn in the sand" so to speak . Now she is not responding and has no intention to. She had adjusted her facebook to block him already a long time ago. We will be changing her number.

i understand the first thought would be that she was allowing it to continue but it is not that way but it is hard to convey in a story. Thank you for all your Ideas, I just needed some outside opinions.

[BPTactical]

You have played it well so far and I applaud the fact at first you did not file a RO at first. Your wife was correct in telling him he was mistaken on the nature of their relationship and to cease contact.
However he has escalated the situation by stating he is moving.
I feel it could almost be in the criteria of stalking now.
Do not play nice anymore.
If he contacts her again, file.
Document everything.