I don't cook. Not even bacon. That's why I got married.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I do pretty much whatever she tells me to. I mean "asks" me...not "tells" me. Nobody tells me what to do.

Oh, who the hell am I kidding?

But I like bacon...nice and chewy. Microwave works well, it's fast and very little mess if you use enough paper towels.