all downhill from here.....

[hatidua]

When I was dating my girlfriend, our accounts were separate. When we got married all accounts were joined - there's one pot of money that we both dip into. I don't have to ask if I can get a new gun/reel/fishing trip to Belize/Etc. She doesn't have to ask before spending what she wants. We've been married for 22 years now and what works best for us may not work for others. There's more than one way that marriages work. I like our method, I'm happy others like their method.

[Sawin]

Totally disagree! He just married the wrong person. I won't say marriage is easy, it is not, but when you set up your marriage to fail with the back door escape clause, well, you kind of get what you deserve. If she is not worth combining funds with, she is not worth having children with. It is not the money that causes any marriage to fail, it is the selfishness exhibited only by the fight over money.

I agree with that Mark, but as I mentioned before, there's no reason to "hurriedly combine your money". My wife and I have a terrific money situation that doesn't really make that much difference if it's in one account or two. We are both equally responsible with our money, and always keep some in savings for emergencies, so neither of us have any issue with the other buying whatever it is that we need/want, without "permission". If it's something big, like more than a few hundred bucks, then we'd obviously talk first and likely each pay toward it....unless of course, I'm buying a gun... she'd probably not contribute . So as far as we are concerned right now, the moment one or the other of us were to start seeing the balance fluctuate, it would just be another avenue where emotions can get between people and there's no real reason for that.

IMO, it is easier psychologically, and is more enjoyable for me, to buy my wife things that she wants (and sometimes surprise her), than it is for me to see the withdrawal from the account and realize she bought something for herself.

[Gunner]

I moved in with girlfriend August of 2011, and ill tell you what ii, it can be difficult but I would not trade it for anything. It really makes you appreciate eachother more. We have known eachother 6 years and been dating for 6 years. We met in high school. Just gotta take the chance it will eaither work out or not. I think it's one of those things you know very soon. Just gotta make the next big step. Congrats and keep your stuff picked up and dont piss on the toliet. Big no no!

[Tinelement]

Congrats on move in today buddy!!

It really is all down from here!!

[Bailey Guns]

We've been married going on 24 years. We've NEVER had a joint bank account. We share the bills...she pays everything and I just write her a check twice a month for my share.

[Dingo]

And just to throw my two cents worth at the dead horse here:

I have a great relationship with a very "opposite-of-bitchy" (the exact word eludes my tired brain today) woman I trust completely - otherwise I wouldn't have married her to begin with. However, I value my independence such that I won't ever combine our bank accounts. I never even considered the option of a pre-nup - I do think those set the whole thing up for failure. However, I don't want to have to explain each time I go on a gun-buying binge (like I've been pathologically stuck in since December 14th - seriously guys, I might be at the point where I need an intervention...) or anything else. She wants to spend 2500 on a chiropractor this coming year, and I don't have any more say in that than she does my guns. It just works. (I happen to think this guy's a quack, and mentioned my feelings. But it's her money, and it's not gonna bug me a bit if she spends it on whatever.) If we have something we both want, like a vacation - we both pay into it. We're happy with the arrangement, and it just takes one more element away that couples typically can fight about.

[sniper7]

I run the money. She has a learning curve to get on since her family sucks with money. She is learning well. I had zero debt, she had a good bit so i am making sure it all gets taken care of plus paying for her masters. Weave our gripes but no couple doesn't. We both get nice things and are happy! To each their own

[BlasterBob]

Shootersfab, good luck to ya! My wife and I got married February 11, 1961 (yeah, that's 52 years this coming Monday) We have yet to have a battle over ANYTHING. Needless to say, she is VERY VERY tolerant!
We had an agreement when first married that if either of us thought we wanted/needed something and if we could afford it, go ahead and buy it. Worked for us all these years. Both of us came from little tiny farming communities and have never attempted to impress anyone with phony shit to "keep up with the neighbors". She has NEVER ever complained about my hunting, shooting, reloading etc., and of course I have never said anything negative about any of her hobbies. Worked for us for 52 years!

[theGinsue]

Without getting drawn into this whole joint/separate finances debate, I'd just like to say congratulations to the OP. I've heard good things about you from your boss so I have some idea as to your character. You'll need it.

All relationships are fickle. Sometimes they are wonderful and joyous, at other times they are painful. When you move in together it ups the ante. The ups and downs occur more often because you have more exposure to one another. As individuals you won't always agree. If you can both maintain respectful behavior to each other during the times of disagreement you can likely survive anything. YOU WILL CAUSE EACH OTHER PAIN, but if you love and respect each other, it's worth it and the painful moments are quickly passed and forgotten.


Best of luck to you!

[JoeT]

my wife and I combined all funds the day we moved in together. We were engaged and getting married in a couple months. There were years I contributed more and years she contributed more, but it was always "ours".

We'll be married 18 years this may, and have never had a fight about money.

now all that said, the first 3 months of living together were the roughest of our relationship. Living with someone isn't easy at first