Laid off today . . . (also lawyer joke thread)

[Waywardson174]

Was working with a temporary firm auditing one of the Big 14 and its foreclosures over the last couple of years. Today they settled and we received an email asking us to kindly f*** off. No pink slips in a paperless office, just the email.

Also, I am a recently licensed attorney so reply with your favorite joke below.

On to my contribution to the jokes:

What do you call a bus load of lawyers drowning in a river?

A good start.

Cheers everyone,

[Mazin]

I need a NFA trust

[Inconel710]

Thanks for the offer, but I already have Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe on retainer.

[TFOGGER]

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink.
A few minutes later, he says to no one in particular, “All lawyers are assholes.”
The fellow next to him lit into him. “How dare you just stereotypically categorize all lawyers as assholes? How have you missed that it’s just not okay to cast aspersions on an entire group of people? You just try saying something like that about any other group of people and you’d get slugged. And you should! If you weren’t such a jerk, I’d pour my drink all over you, but you’re not worth the cost of my drink.”
The fellow was properly abashed, and apologized. “Look, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” he says, “By the way, what kind of lawyer are you?”
“Lawyer? I’m no lawyer, you idiot. I’m an asshole!”


Brought to you by the law firm of Neil, Suckitt, and Moen.

[TheBelly]

what do you call a lawyer gone bad? a senator.

[budda]

Sorry to hear that. What type of law do/want to practice?

I don't have a joke but I have a saying that makes my boss mad, I am a paralegal.

Lawyers do not lie, they manipulate the truth to prove their point.

[bigmyk2k]

Sorry about the bad day. That is a terrible way to get the news.

From my wife's swearing in ceremony (told by a Co Supreme court judge, don't recall which): "This is the point at which I would tell a lawyer joke, but none of the lawyers think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes."

[SideShow Bob]

I need a NFA trust

Same here, NFA items trust.

[merl]

heard about this on the radio this morning, never even thought about the effects of a settlement.

[Sawin]

Seems like you could be off to a good start with the NFA trusts needed around here. It could be a pretty good community to serve in that regard.