Oddball: Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

Big Joe: I thought I told you to bring me some good-looking kid, not this fat, sausage-chewing wino!
Kelly: Well, if you were looking for a young boy, you should have sent somebody else, Joe.

Big Joe: ...There's no booze, there's no broads, there's no action!
Captain Maitland: That's another thing - don't fool around with the women. Their husbands carry guns. And don't forget, the penalty for looting is death.
Big Joe: Loot what? There's nothing here to loot!