What's for dinner?

[Walker2970]

What's for dinner

During lunch at work last week, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't due to past experience). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Sweetie I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She... made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call.

The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go . It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. I thought for a minute a had crapped myself! The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable! Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself for my "tactical discharge".

My face must have been the picture of innocence, when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and thirteen dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused: "Happy Birthday"..

[waxthis]

LMMFAO......Nice!!!

[GlockDog47]

Hahahaha taco bell does that to me.

[Southbridge]

The best part is how a single one of them did not let out a peep or anything. But who would've thought there were guests there if your wife was willing to take a phone call? Haha too funny.

[wax_job]

BAHAHZHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Any survivors?

[lex137]

That's the funniest shit I have heard in a long time, I bet your face was red....

[theGinsue]

Guys, I don't think it really happened... I believe he was using artistic license.

[Irving]

Guys, I don't think it really happened... I believe he was using artistic license.

Translation: This joke is as old as I am.

[brutal]

Heard that one years ago.


Still pretty good though.

[wax_job]

Translation: This joke is as old as I am.

Yes. But it's like the aristocrats... Delivery is everything.