College kid's understanding of why Pacific War

[TEAMRICO]

They really have it all wrong, after Lincoln freed the Hawaiians they revolted at the battle of Pearl Harbor, where they poured the Tea into the bay. Japan only got involved because when they found out about all the tea going to waste they planned Operation Desert Storm to oust Ho Chi Min from the North of Nam to the South. The Bomb was dropped on Tokyo to distract us from the Nazi's invading Iraq for oil. The bomb was nearly disarmed by Capt. McGyver but since the paper clip was not until 1899 they still managed to drop it from the Spruce Goose.
we only got involved in the war when we heard that Weapons Of Mass Destruction were being stored in Berlin.
Kids these days. What the hell are they teaching them nowadays?