Explosions at Boston Marathon

[Jer]

I'm very concerned right now. I'm sitting in a booth at my favorite Mexican food restaurant in Loveland and there's a guy in a nearby booth who's wearing RUNNING SHOES.

Can you believe someone can be so insensitive to be wearing RUNNING SHOES in public within less than 24 hours of the biggest marathon massacre on US soil in the last decade? We really need to outlaw the public wearing of running shoes. I mean really, most of the people wearing these antagonistic shoes haven't run anywhere since 9th grade gym class! There's just no reason for them to go around brandishing these symbols of death and mayhem. I was so scared I barely finished my enchilada rancheras!

There ought to be a law...

Mexican Inn?