Quick ideas for winning over the female?

[jhood001]

I've got my AK in the oven hardening some paint and the entire house smells like a tire factory. I thought I could stealth this entire operation while the female was away, but I have 30 minutes left on the oven timer and she is home in 10 minutes.

QUICK IDEAS TO BRIBE HER, DIFFUSE THE SITUATION, CAUSE REDIRECTION OF THE CONVERSATION, ETC WOULD BE APPRECIATED!

[facepalm]

[jhood001]

Well, I just heard the garage door opener fire up. I'm fucked.

[panic]

[birddog]

Be butt ass naked when she gets home and act like normal. It won't fix the smell but it will divert the attention.

[Roger Ronas]

Couple of ideas:
1. Tell her you took a dump, and you don't know what you ate but it smells bad.
2. Greet her naked so she has something to laugh at. (You may have to take the laughter for the team)
3. Offer to take her out to her fav place to eat.

That's all I got

Roger

[def90]

Alcohol/wine does wonders.. consider a foot rub as a last minute defense.

sent from a soup can and some string..

[Roger Ronas]

Please report back what you did and how it worked

[osok-308]

Quick, take her out for dinner!

[buffalobo]

Set the fence in the back yard on fire.

Lobbed from my electronic ball and chain

[ChunkyMonkey]

Tell her, you burn off your blow up doll and will stick with monogamy. What she's smelling is loyalty!

[bobbyfairbanks]

Take her out to dinner and open all the windows when your gone. When you get home light some scented candles in the bathroom, run her a bath and then wash her hair for her. Trust me that works wonders when you F up bad. I just did the same thing but with a spray paint can of duracoat.

[Irving]

Start a really long Youtube video, and tell her, "Shut the fuck up! Can't you see I'm trying to watch something? God damn, go call your sister or something!" every time she tries to talk to you.

[funkymonkey1111]

say "at least i'm not cooking meth"

[def90]

Start a really long Youtube video, and tell her, "Shut the fuck up! Can't you see I'm trying to watch something? God damn, go call your sister or something!" every time she tries to talk to you.

Lol..

sent from a soup can and some string..

[TEAMRICO]

Be butt ass naked when she gets home and act like normal. It won't fix the smell but it will divert the attention.
NAKED MAAAAAAN!!!
Supposed to work 2 out of 3 times......I have heard.

[HoneyBadger]

Get her out of the house and get some air fresheners going!!

[10mm-man]

Start a really long Youtube video, and tell her, "Shut the fuck up! Can't you see I'm trying to watch something? God damn, go call your sister or something!" every time she tries to talk to you.

Bunch of pussies! Yours in the only thing that makes sense......


Man, really!? Tell her it's your F'n stove, and to go do something constructive; like do the laundry or something..... [Beer]

[bobbyfairbanks]

That is a good way to lose a wife real quick.

[hatidua]

Ask her what on earth she left burning in the oven?!

[jhood001]

I think I'm good. At least for today. She holed up in the bedroom while I finished. I told her I would clean the oven so that it looked like new tomorrow. The oven was passed due for a cleaning (which is normally one of her duties) so this seemed to please this strange and alien creature I live with.

I'm airing out the house right now and considering myself to be 'lucky'. But who knows what tomorrow will bring...

Seriously, I never know what tomorrow may bring when living with one of these creatures.




P.S. The paint looks fucking awesome! Victory!

[HoneyBadger]

WE NEED PICTURES!!!

ETA:
[Worth]

[jhood001]

By the way - the naked greeting tactic is absolutely brilliant. I didn't have to employ it this time around, but I have a powerful weapon in my arsenal moving forward. Thanks!

[jhood001]

WE NEED PICTURES!!!

ETA:
[Worth]

I need to do some drilling on the stock, but the gun is still too hot. I'll get some pics up once I'm done!

[HoneyBadger]

I need to do some drilling on the stock, but the gun is still too hot. I'll get some pics up once I'm done!
Oh good. After I posted that, I thought you might be getting ready to post up the pictures you took in the mirror after you undressed for Mrs. Jhood001! [LOL]

[Tinelement]

Just don't ever ever let her see this thread!!

[Irving]

Yeah, especially if I ever get to meet her.

[jhood001]

Yeah, especially if I ever get to meet her.

I'm not too worried, bro. I'll just tell your wife that you make sense of your relationship with her based on the film 'Knocked Up'.

Mum's the word?

[ROFL3]

[Great-Kazoo]

By the way - the naked greeting tactic is absolutely brilliant. I didn't have to employ it this time around, but I have a powerful weapon in my arsenal moving forward. Thanks!

Viagra ?

[sniper7]

Glad you lucked out this time. But so you know, she is contemplating ways for you to pay her back. She won't tell you what they are or mention it, but this will be brought up again at another time...a time you wouldn't even expect it.

[DSB OUTDOORS]

Pfffttt. What?? You guy's don't keep Chloroform around the house?? [Muaha]

http://youtu.be/CVopwAeMjgw

[hghclsswhitetrsh]

https://www.ar-15.co/threads/126607-Frigidaire-stove

I'm shameless I know.

[BPTactical]

Oh good. After I posted that, I thought you might be getting ready to post up the pictures you took in the mirror after you undressed for Mrs. Jhood001! [LOL]

This was my thought as well originally.
Thank God.[LOL]


Nothing helps the stench JHOOD. Tomorrow run the oven through a cleaning cycle and it will help some.
My house mouse gets bent when I MolyResin stuff.
I made the comment once of "What's it matter? You never use it anyways"
Once.......[oops]

[clodhopper]

WE NEED PICTURES!!!

ETA:
[Worth]


By the way - the naked greeting tactic is absolutely brilliant. I didn't have to employ it this time around, but I have a powerful weapon in my arsenal moving forward. Thanks!



Uhhhh, the AK only please. Not.... the.... other...... ug. Please don't get these confused.


Please.

[jerrymrc]

There is a reason I spent $15 back in the day. 14 years and still going. http://i884.photobucket.com/albums/ac44/jerrymrc/toys/oldgroup053.jpg (http://s884.photobucket.com/user/jerrymrc/media/toys/oldgroup053.jpg.html)

[RCCrawler]

Mmm... Enjoy tasting paint every time you use the oven for the next month.

[BPTactical]

Mmm... Enjoy tasting paint every time you use the oven for the next month.

Generally not an issue in my house......

[sniper7]

Generally not an issue in my house......

Thats because you eat out of a can....

[mcjhr]

Squirrel on a trampoline.

[jhood001]

All done! A little bit of fit and finish left to do, but I'm happy for now...

The female is asleep, I have a few tasty beers ready to drink, and all I have to do is clean the oven tomorrow!





http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/justinlhood/IMG_20140225_133122_zpscd2707aa.jpg
http://i984.photobucket.com/albums/ae326/justinlhood/IMG_20140227_234222_zps801b8dad.jpg

[BPTactical]

Nice!
That laminate is sexy.

[HoneyBadger]

The female is asleep, I have a few tasty beers ready to drink, and all I have to do is clean the oven tomorrow!



That's what YOU think! [LOL]

[sniper7]

Doubt we hear from him today. Slave drivers never let up!

[Bitter Clinger]

If your in trouble buy the book "she comes first" and apply the......carnal knowledge in the book. She will forgive you, and forgive you, and forgive you........