Sayings and comments you favor the most!

[Skully]

Couple days a go I heard my boys' repeat something I say about someone they saw at the store. Kind of embarrassing.............

Talking to the wife I was concern that the boys' may get themselves in trouble some day if they repeat what I say out of context or in the wrong crowd.

My wife says, honey you say those things all the time................ Me? Do I?

I reminded her of her fav statement, calling stupid people "Dildo's"

It was interesting to see my Mexican wife blush when the boys' asked her; "Whats a dildo?"


I didn't realize how often I say them, so interested in if anyone else says catchy comments or statements, maybe not even realizing how often you say them.


I wrote down some of my favs;


1.) Such a Cracker Ass cracker! ( My fav describing someone being a little too redneck or call some of my friends this)

2.) your SOL (shit out of luck)

3.) SSDD (Same shit, different day)

4.) So hungry I could eat the south bound end of a north bound mule

5.) he's a couple cans shy of a six pack

6.) brilliance is NOT how dark it is.

7.) move your ass dum-bass! (usually while driving and it rhymes)




What yours?

[earplug]

Not my Monkey, not my circus.

[BushMasterBoy]

You get what you pay for, and sometimes you don't even get that!

We have been set up to fail.

[ray1970]

I?m a little hurt you never called me a cracker, Skully.

[daemon]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes...

[wctriumph]

Moron

[Great-Kazoo]

go fuck yourself.


Simple, straight to the point. Not too difficult to understand.

Working at the local range, i've encountered a lot of retired, former ny'kers. Everyone of them laughs when it's said. AND no one takes offense at it.

[BPTactical]

Nah, this thread is waaaaay too easy.

[cstone]

Our family motto - Get over yourself.

When I was still working and asked to describe another investigator/detective - "that guy/gal couldn't find holes in peg board."

Less government is the best government.

We get the government we deserve.

and

Be safe.

[Duman]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

[Bailey Guns]

Git your bitch ass (insert place) and (insert what you want).

Gitchur bitchass in the kitchen...and make me a pie! - Cartman

[almostamos]

When love falls in shit, it sticks. (My dad always said this about my sister and her choices of men)

[Aloha_Shooter]

TANSTAAFL
There Ain’t No Such Thing As AA Free Lunch

[GilpinGuy]

AYFKM?

[Mercula]

Dont go away mad. Just go away.
Fuck you, And the horse you rode in on.
Cant fix stupid.
And a great one from an old boss ,
Retarded people acting retarded ( anytime anyone is doing pretty much anything)

[OtterbatHellcat]

I overheard this at a local gas station last week.

"Sympathy is in between piss and shit".

I paid for my lottery ticket and left with a snicker.

[TheNash]

It is “you know where you can find sympathy? Between shit and syphilis in the dictionary “

[polski]

Keep your stick on the ice

[eddiememphis]

Bunch of savages in this town.

Half the population is below average. To which my Dad would reply- I think it a little bit more than that. It was our joke about idiots.

[BPTactical]

“Do you have any rubber clothes?”

“No, why?”

“Because if your gonna act like a dick you should dress appropriately!”

[StagLefty]

Nice going Dilbert !!!!

[TheNash]

Couldn’t find your ass even if you were sitting on your hands
Don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground where the green grass grows around
Fuck you and anybody that looks like you
You could have been the poster child for birth control
I see they threw out the wrong stuff when you were born
The best part of you ran down your mamas leg
Cold as a witches tit in a brass bra
Wouldn’t give the sweat off my balls
Monkeys fuckin a football

[TheNash]

How can you soar with the eagles when I’m surrounded by a bunch of turkeys

[buffalobo]

The price of your education is the cost of your mistakes.

[earplug]

New favorite is: Hard to govern.

[Ah Pook]

“Not my rodeo. I’m just one of the clowns.”
“This ain’t my first rodeo.”

I like rodeos.

“What the hail Maynard?!”

[JoeRoss]

I would not piss on him/her if they were on fire.
Let 'em burn.

Oh wait, we are not talking politics.....or are we?

[izzy]

go fuck yourself.

The fucking machine is out of order so fuck yourself and save a quarter.

[BushMasterBoy]

Always save a bullet for yourself.

[flogger]

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, ..don't exaggerate!

[roberth]

I overheard this at a local gas station last week.

"Sympathy is in between piss and shit".

I paid for my lottery ticket and left with a snicker.

The way I heard it:

Sympathy comes between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

[Batteriesnare]

You're so shit out of luck, you're up shit creek without a paddle in a barb wire canoe fucked!

[Squeeze]

"Hey, you see that (insert structure name here) over there? Good, that's where you can go fuck yourself".

"I have an idea. Why don't you go outside and play a nice game of Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?"

[BladesNBarrels]

A common reaction

https://i.imgur.com/ZXnyXzl.jpg

[JohnnyDrama]

The world isn't a perfect place. Screws fall out, people die.

[AirbornePathogen]

"He's got the IQ of a handball."
"Get your head out of your fourth point of contact."
"Tighten up your shot group."
"Do you like sex and travel? Then go and fuck yourself."
"I shit you not."

[gnihcraes]

Don't want to see you on the news..

(Usually when doing something unsafe)

[Duman]

Hold my beer.....

RUFKM?

It's time to go full retard!

[hollohas]

Life's a bitch....and then you die.

[zteknik]

Fhugetabodit.

Sent from my LM-X220PM using Tapatalk

[Eric P]

Facts don't care about your feelings. Or feelings are meaningless.

I say this way to often when anyone says "I feel that..."

[GilpinGuy]

Fhugetabodit.

Sent from my LM-X220PM using Tapatalk

Hahaha! [LOL]

[Great-Kazoo]

Fhugetabodit.

Sent from my LM-X220PM using Tapatalk

get da fuk outta here!

[TFOGGER]

Busier than a one armed paper hanger in a tornado...

[BPTactical]

Dats a Fugazi

Happier than a puppy with 2 peters

[Trigger Time 23]

Shines like a diamond in a goats ass!

[Osmosis]

"Whoever said one person can’t change the world never ate an undercooked bat"

"Hey the horn blows - just like the driver!"

[ChickNorris]

Turn the f*ing corner already - its not going to roll over honey

[BlasterBob]

An old saying:
“Just because you are OLD doesn’t mean that you are right, really means that you have just been wrong longer”.
[blaster]

[CS1983]

I often finding myself telling my kids, "Thank you for your service" when they do something "helpful".

[Duman]

A family tribe, Wheredafugawee?

[SideShow Bob]

One I like to use : “ If I were to agree with you, we'd both be wrong.”
And of course this one “ Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.”

[AirbornePathogen]

"If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport."
"He couldn't find his ass with both hands and a map."
"I don't know how his brain even learned human speech." Lifted from Firefly

[Aloha_Shooter]

From “Gettysburg”, Private Buckling talking Tom COL Chamberlain:
‘the whole bloody lousy rotten mess of sick-brained, pot-bellied scabheads that ain't fit to lead a johnny detail, ain't fit to pour pee out of a boot with instructions on the heel.”

[hollohas]

I often finding myself telling my kids, "Thank you for your service" when they do something "helpful".

I yell 'man down' every time my kids fall. My 3 year old son expects it now. He never cries if I yell man down after he eats it, no matter how big a spill. Works like a charm.

I'm more than a little afraid he'll yell it at some other kids at the playground and get me in trouble with some mom without a sense of humor.

[Grant H.]

"Damnit Bobby"

"Bobby's a dick"

"I hate society" comes out of my mouth more often than my wife appreciates.

My wife saw this post, and demanded that I add two more negatives and one positive...

"Does it hurt being that dumb?"

"I fawk!ng hate stupid people"

"Awesome like a MF'in possum"

She said that these get thrown out relatively regularly.

[bkincaid]

I'm not a pessimist, just an experienced realist.

[Skully]

I'm not a pessimist, just an experienced realist.


That reminds me of another one, mostly to describe myself; "I am a pessi-0ptimest, I am positive, something bad will happen."

:)

[JohnnyDrama]

That reminds me of another one, mostly to describe myself; "I am a pessi-0ptimest, I am positive, something bad will happen."

:)

Now I have Marissa Lambert going through my head.

[OtterbatHellcat]

A comment I love the most is:

I'm not taking my Trump banners down. Cause I ain't.

[Baetis]

Fucktard

Murphy is a cruel mistress..

Sorry about your bad luck....

[rondog]

My dad had a whole shitload of sayings, wish I'd written them down.

[Irving]

Git your bitch ass (insert place) and (insert what you want).

Gitchur bitchass in the kitchen...and make me a pie! - Cartman

No, "Fuckin liberals!" ?

[fj605]

This gem is hanging in my daughter's classroom.

84679

[BladesNBarrels]

My favorite from my father-in-law

All progress requires change, but not all change is progress
----Dean Bennett

[Duman]

"Who the fuck gave you a diploma? Give it back!" ~Unknown

[Singlestack]

My fav is what I tell obnoxious democrat inlaws:

It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again

[BushMasterBoy]

I was born with nothing and still have most of it left.

[BPTactical]

Somebody musta fucked the smart outta that one

[Duman]

Embrace the suck.