View Full Version : Fathers....
Everyone my wife and I are surrounded by is pregnant. Got word last month that my brothers' wife is pregnant. Recieved word yesterday that my sister is pregnant and one of my really good friends' wife is expecting. My wife has several friends/clients that are pregnant...
We've wanted kids for a while. I would LOVE to be a father!! I think I'd be halfway decent at it too. We've been trying for a while with no avail which makes me feel depressed and like I'm a failure as I feel like there is something "wrong" with me. We've both been to the docs and things seem to be working right.
Oh well, maybe it's just not God's timing. It would be very difficult for us right now to raise and support a child, so maybe it's a blessing in disgiuse.... but when I think about how we couldn't afford to have a child right now it takes me back into the cycle of feeling depressed as I ought to be able to provide for my family. I have two (useless/meaningless) advanced degrees but no job in that field. A ton of student loans and just grrr...
Just wanted to vent a little.
On the bright side, I do get a lot of pie... so I guess I can't complain! Keep my chin up and all that jazz.... One day.... It'll get better.... blah, blah, blah.
Carry on. [Beer]
All in due time. I was blessed with 3, but none were planned. The first one was in highschool, and the other two soon after. I wish sometimes that my wife and I would have been more mature and had a little more stability before the kido's came. It'll happen, just be happy that it's planned.. Also, parenting is VERY hard. It's not all laughter and smiles. Good Luck though.
Well, not to sound bitter, One day you may wake up to find that all the people you grew up with are becoming grandparents..
Just sayin'..
Yes Sir Marlin.... I'll buy you a beer you bitter old man! lol.
trlcavscout
09-20-2010, 11:36
Everyone my wife and I are surrounded by is pregnant. Got word last month that my brothers' wife is pregnant. Recieved word yesterday that my sister is pregnant and one of my really good friends' wife is expecting. My wife has several friends/clients that are pregnant...
We've wanted kids for a while. I would LOVE to be a father!! I think I'd be halfway decent at it too. We've been trying for a while with no avail which makes me feel depressed and like I'm a failure as I feel like there is something "wrong" with me. We've both been to the docs and things seem to be working right.
Oh well, maybe it's just not God's timing. It would be very difficult for us right now to raise and support a child, so maybe it's a blessing in disgiuse.... but when I think about how we couldn't afford to have a child right now it takes me back into the cycle of feeling depressed as I ought to be able to provide for my family. I have two (useless/meaningless) advanced degrees but no job in that field. A ton of student loans and just grrr...
Just wanted to vent a little.
On the bright side, I do get a lot of pie... so I guess I can't complain! Keep my chin up and all that jazz.... One day.... It'll get better.... blah, blah, blah.
Carry on. [Beer]
Have your wife baby sit some new born's and be around them. For some reason in my family that triggers something. Every time someone has a baby someone else gets pregnant. Luckily I am fixed now [Beer] but my wifes doctor said when a women is around a new born it does something to them?
Of course today is my birthday and I am home alone with my 2 kids, all I wanted for my birthday was for them to clean the living room. Anybody want to kids that wont even clean the living room? I am gonna put them on CL soon.
Byte Stryke
09-20-2010, 11:36
I'll let you in on my secret.
Janette and I weren't planning.
I put a sizable down payment on a brand new Harley Davidson and Pop.. Bunny died. [Eek2]
not financially recommended, but it worked for us.
Kids are WAY Cooler than Harleys Anyway
:D
Have your wife baby sit some new born's ... I am gonna put them on CL soon.
She has babysitted both our niece and nephew since they were born. I don't know if putting them on CL will solve anything for you! HAHA.
I put a sizable down payment on a brand new Harley Davidson....
Kids are WAY Cooler than Harleys Anyway
:D
If I could afford to purchase a Harley, lol. Kids are great, I love my neice/nephew even if they aren't mine. I belive you've seen their pics in my house. They are loads of fun! lol.
Troublco
09-20-2010, 11:49
Well, Bear, since no one else has I feel I should point out that practice makes perfect![ROFL1]
I do agree with Byte Stryke and MX'R. Kids are cooler than Harleys, and they are a ton of work. Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done. I have two with special needs, and they are simultaneously the best things to ever happen to me and the source of 90% of the stress in my life. I still wouldn't trade 'em.
Two things I heard once about Parenting, that I have tried hard to use as a guide ever since. First, "If you fail as a parent, nothing else you ever do matters." So when I'm losing my patience (or have already lost it) I think about that and make sure that my kids know I love them, even if I'm upset with them. Second, "Once you have kids your life is no longer your own." Man, I had NO idea how true that was.
I'm sure it'll happen. Just keep practicin'......
Troublco!!! Wonderful, lol.
Hey honey... I need to practice!
She bought me a shirt. I'll never wear it in public but it's funny. It says "I'm not bald, that's just the solar panel for the sex machine!"
If I were you, I wouldn't focus too much on not having a baby. just enjoy trying trying to have one and enjoy the freedom now.
Also, use this time to aggressively pay off your debts and save up a nice emergency fund. You will be amazed at how quickly your cash gets used up when you have a kiddo around.
I don't have a kiddo of my own, but my girlfriend has a 2.5 y/o and Elliana's father lives in Atlanta. That makes me Dada Chris, with all of the responsibilities of a parent. (I am already planning on having a Co AR-15 BBQ and gun cleaning party for the night her first date shows up. You are all invited.)
Trust me on this one, take your time. Enjoy your life as it is right now and when it happens you will enjoy that time much more as well.
Rgr, I appreciate the advice Drilldo. It is most welcome. We are not in a "hurry" to have kids so to speak. We would love to have one. But it is a good thing that we do not have one right now so we can "aggressivly" attack my student loans and such as you pointed out. I just get the feeling that sometimes we're going to be hte old gun guy and cat lady with no kids/grandkids and die with no one noticing, etc.. lol.
Anyways, I'll enjoy life a lot more once our loans are paid off! And biologically, I supposed we still do have plenty of "time" left, so to speak.
mmm... pie.
we've got 6. :eek:
2 were planned.
forget the trying - that actually was almost like work. make sure you're both getting a bit of sexercise and are eating healthy.
If it's in the plan, then it'll happen. If not, well... you've got more money for toys. and you can always adopt.
68Charger
09-20-2010, 15:31
and you can always adopt.
This is how we got pregnant, and now we have 4 (including one adopted)
a little over a year after getting custody, my wife was pregnant...
I could provide some other tips, but frankly none of them made any difference until she was ready- she was focused on her career until after we adopted.
My fiance tried to have a kid for a long time like 10 years before she met me. A trip to the Rio later and now we have a daughter. I'll repeat my old advice to you from the last time this came up. Just get drunk and buy a Miata. One of the two will work. I know you don't drink, but biologically, it's not to late for you to start.
HAHAHA, and I don't think I could fit in a Miata Stu! HAHA. Thanks.
funkfool
09-20-2010, 16:33
The wife and I WERE trying... before she lost her job...
Now we are waiting.
MMMM... pie.
theGinsue
09-20-2010, 18:26
I know you don't drink, but biologically, it's not to late for you to start.
He may not drink now, but once he becomes a father........
I have a book called "Daddy Needs a Drink."
Byte Stryke
09-20-2010, 19:15
HAHAHA, and I don't think I could fit in a Miata Stu! HAHA. Thanks.
I think he meant ON...
Like, use it as a motor scooter :D
Plan the purchase of anything that would not be appropriate for a Baby seat.
works every time
Troublco
09-20-2010, 20:12
He may not drink now, but once he becomes a father........
I have a book called "Daddy Needs a Drink."
Oh, yeah!
rockhound
09-20-2010, 21:03
is your wife cute? I could come over and ....... Never mind I'm shooting blanks now anyway. [LOL]
Unless you are Donald Trump you will never be financially ready. If you are stressing about it that can make it worse.
The baby will come along when it's the worst possible time. They have impeccable timing.
When it happens spend as much time as you can with them. My son just turned 11, my daughters are not far behind. Man am i getting old. He will be off to college and out of the house before I know it.
Seamonkey
09-20-2010, 21:04
Second rule of trouble shooting:
Is the right wire in the right hole?
HAHAHHAAHHAHAHHA
[ROFL1]
That's a good point. You'll never be "ready." You might think that you will be, but you won't be. So much so, that I almost recommend not even trying to be ready, but not quite.
rockhound
09-20-2010, 21:09
are you saying he should roll her over?
BPTactical
09-20-2010, 21:43
You have kids you will discover why animals eat their young......[Coffee]
Seriously though-I would not trade mine for the world (2 boys).
Maybe you are trying too hard. Stress will affect such things and just quit trying so hard and worrying so much.
He may not drink now, but once he becomes a father........
I have a book called "Daddy Needs a Drink."
Oh man... you know, you guys aren't the first to tell me that! HAHAHA.
I think he meant ON...
Like, use it as a motor scooter :D
Plan the purchase of anything that would not be appropriate for a Baby seat.
works every time
Hmmm... Think I'll plan to buy that Dodge Viper that I can't fit into anyways! lol. Well I plan on buying an HK Mp5 or a M16 sooner or later, will that work? Can't really put a baby seat on one of those!! lol.
is your wife cute? I could come over and ......
I happen to think she's smoking hot. You're more than welcome to come over, but she can handle her own so don't blame me is she kicks your butt! lol. I got no worries in that department! lol.
[Beer]
Second rule of trouble shooting:
Is the right wire in the right hole?
Wait! What?! Damn, you mean I've been doin' it wrong?! lol. [Beer]
You have kids you will discover why animals eat their young......
And again, not the first person to say that!! Ha. [ROFL1][Beer]
BPTactical
09-21-2010, 12:29
BigBear- just keep poking fun at her and eventually she will take you seriously.
BigBear- just keep poking fun at her and eventually she will take you seriously.
I'm sorry, I don't follow. We both want kids, not just me.
Or is that a metaphorical suggestion to keep poking her?.... hmmm... I'm about to get myself in trouble! HAHA. [Beer]
BPTactical
09-21-2010, 13:05
Metaphor there Bear......,
Given enough ammo eventually you will get a Bullseye!
We tried for twelve years, gave up, and spent three more years adopting this one from China. Best damn thing I ever did.
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c173/tkulin/Anigiggling1yearlater332010.jpg
ronaldrwl
09-21-2010, 13:20
Mine are 25 (boy) and 23 (girl) years old. No advise from me but It's the only lasting worthwhile thing my wife and I have ever done. But it was sure hard at times. They have both now graduated with engineering degrees. My wife was (is) a great mother but I'll never forget the time when she looked at me while holding our baby son and said take him before I @#$%#$%. OK darling :)
HBARleatherneck
09-21-2010, 13:24
Tim, we live 25 miles to town. Basically, the middle of nowhere. We have about 6 homes on our 3 mile stretch of road. And probably 12 houses in a 12-15 sqmile area. There are 2 families on this road with adopted kids., 1 with 1 chinese adopted girl and the other family has 1 boy and 1 girl both adopted from china. I think all are special needs.
we have 5 and more on the way. we havent made it to 20 weeks yet, so we dont know how many or what sex.
Congrats HBAR! Good thing you have all that room out there! lol.
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