Death.

Sorry for your losses. I would offer more advise but death and that which is associated with it is not one of my strengths.

Maybe your decreased friend would want you to be there for his grieving family. You do what you can and what your conscience tells you and you'll have made the right decision.

I have been at my Mother's bed side three time in the last year. Each time thinking it would be the last. I can sympathise and understand your lose.

One of my best friends (I count very few as best friends) put a gun to his head several years ago. I could think of many reasons not to go to the funeral. The one reason I did go was the wife and family he left behind.

Dogs, well they are part of the family. Loosing one is never easy.

The "gathering" may not be for you. It will mean something to those immediately involved.

Your choice.

Always go if you can. I went to six funerals in about 5 weeks this summer. It blew goat. I wanted to show support for my friends loved ones. It matters.

I think it's important for the family to see the impact their son had on others, that other people found him valuable and also mourn his loss. No, it won't bring your friend back, but being there for his family is one last favor you can do for your friend. Missing it is not something you want to regret later.

I'm very sorry for your losses.

I think it is completely understandable that you don't go. Although, even if I didn't want to go, I personally would go. My reasoning is selfish though...
Will I regret or feel guilty for not going at some point in the future? Most likely.
Will I regret or feel guilty for going? Probably not.
For me it would be about not prolonging or adding guilt to my personal grieving.

For me it is about respect. If I respected that person and how they lived their life, I will be there. Even if I have to grit my teeth and set my jaw to get through it. I don't go to many, but some deserve to have their passing recognized.

I think you've had more than your fair share this year and if you can't make one more funeral then thats the way it is.

Sorry for your losses.

Funerals are rituals that help the living accept and start moving on after someone has passed. If you don't need this then don't go.

That said, if this person's family are friends of yours then you need to go to support them. Being there shows respect for your friend and for his family.

When my Mom was dying of cancer she said that she thought she could count her friends on one hand. She was surprised how many people came to see her. She would have been truly surprised to have seen how many people showed up for her funeral. It was the largest funeral gathering that I have ever seen at her church, and I have been to quite a few funerals there. There wasn't an empty space in the pews.

Not judging...just an opinion and observation. It sounds as though, in your heart, you know you should go out of respect to your friend and his family. But you really don't want to and maybe you're trying to rationalize that feeling and/or looking for a little validation?

If you go, you'll have the memory and you'll never wonder "what if" or second-guess yourself in the future for not going. If you don't go...well, just something that you might regret.

My recommendation would be to go. If only briefly. Pay your respects, say your goodbyes.

Sorry for all the loss you've suffered.

Sorry about your friend in WR. That sounds like a terrible incident. Me? I'd go. The reasons don't even have to be perfectly clear right now but you need to keep in mind that you only have this opportunity once. Down the road you may regret it and then it'll be too late.