Advice on potential dangerous situation ...

Yea that's why we wanted it on record but without physically seeing him at our home or work (even though we definitely think he was there) the officer said a judge also probably wouldn't grant one yet. Also if your used to watching those show then you also know the ratio of people that are killed or harmed by the person they have a restraining order against is astronomical . That is why we filled the report and had the officer come to the house in the event that he shows up at the house and her or I have to "neutralize" the situation if it gets to that point.

Sorry no experience with this first hand...

But it might be too late to change phone #s and get a RO. You mentioned that you suspect he knows where you guys live or he's "watching" you. He's exibiting the "If I can't have her no one will" mentality, and I feel that those types of people are a ticking time bomb. Just like criminals you think getting a RO will stop him, I highly doubt it. He can easily keep tabs on her, fake FB page, google voice number from another state so it looks like he's moved, etc.

Good thing is she has a CCW, make sure you are aware of any suspicious cars. Don't hesitate to call the cops on suspicious people or cars. Better to be overly safe at this point. He's pushing the line and IHO will confront her soon

Man the fuck up and tell him yourself to fuck off. Tell you wife to quit playing along (she might love you but she seems to like the attention), change her number, file for temp restraint, then for a full restraining order.. BLOCK HIM ON FACEBOOK. FROM EVERYTHING AND CHANGE HER FUCKING SETTINGS.

At this point he is harassing and stalking, he showed up to her work. If she wants to be a dumb ass and not press charges because she wants to give him consideration for his life.. let's see how much she changes her mind when she's laying bloodied and raped in a ditch.

CHANGE HER NUMBER! DELETE HER FB! FILE CHARGES!

The TRO and RO will honestly not do one bit of good, but it serves to protect you SHOULD HE VIOLATE it.

This is the very reason my wife and I do not have opposite sex friends...it just cannot possibly lead to anything good (unless they are a couple and we are friends as a couple with the couple). As it's been stated before, overly cautious is the name of the game at this point. Number change, delete all social media accounts, install a security system in your home (if you don't already have one)...the whole nine.

It's a really shitty situation unfortunately...be careful and both of you keep your eyes peeled. Good luck and keep us updated.

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Originally Posted by Monky

Man the fuck up and tell him yourself to fuck off. Tell you wife to quit playing along (she might love you but she seems to like the attention)

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+321,654,458,543,321.12

I was trying to be a bit more...couth...but this is the best advice so far.

Phone number changing today (although finding out a new phone number isn't hard apparently) Facebook is all private and has always been. Have security on house, she is definitely NOT playing along with him and has kept me completely in the loop about what's going on and has ceased any contact. Initial contact was necessary to let him know where we stand and how he would not be allowed to act . Already said judge wouldn't get a RO yet, not that I think it does anything but piss people off and send then over the edge.

I told him the first time he told her that stuff it would not be tolerated and he backed down pretty fast, I feel that me contacting him now would do nothing but escalate the situation, not about "Manning up" but about making smart decisions for the safety of my wife. I refuse to let something happen to her or make sure he snaps by making myself feel more "manly" or "in charge" and just telling him to go away. Since that clearly isn't working.


but i asked for advice and at this point ill try anything. If attempts anymore contact I will then inform him that he will stop immediately and anymore action on his part will result in police intervention.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Monky

Man the fuck up and tell him yourself to fuck off. Tell you wife to quit playing along (she might love you but she seems to like the attention), change her number, file for temp restraint, then for a full restraining order.. BLOCK HIM ON FACEBOOK. FROM EVERYTHING AND CHANGE HER FUCKING SETTINGS.

At this point he is harassing and stalking, he showed up to her work. If she wants to be a dumb ass and not press charges because she wants to give him consideration for his life.. let's see how much she changes her mind when she's laying bloodied and raped in a ditch.

CHANGE HER NUMBER! DELETE HER FB! FILE CHARGES!

The TRO and RO will honestly not do one bit of good, but it serves to protect you SHOULD HE VIOLATE it.

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THIS!!!

The RO is good for numerous reasons. You can show fear if you need to by having it. You have records if you need them if you need them. Arrest is REALLY EASY if it comes to that without having to prove a whole heck of a lot (as far as no-contact orders go). Don't go anywhere that person might be such as bars, grocery stores, etc. Your life is changed because of this A hole. Change your number, report, and do what you need to do to stay safe.

Why do I get the feeling something bad is about to happen?

Everyone has had some good advice, but this is what I have to say on the matter. If he wants to know where you live, phone numbers, what you drive, where you work, and has about $200 to commit to it he will get all of that information. It is still a good idea to have her change her number, but I would go a step further and have your carrier block his number as well. AT&T and Verizon have had this service in the past, and they also have the ability to track the number of times a blocked number attempts to call or text, which is convenient for court proceedings.

Also, if your yard will accommodate it where it can be concealed, pick up a motion camera or two from any hunting supply place. Set those up to get a view of your front and back doors. Sure you will get a considerable amount of normal foot traffic pictures, but it will also give you an idea of who is around your house when you guys aren't home.

All of that aside I would also state that you and your wife need to have a very serious talk about what happens when/if he does comein the house. The problem being he was a friend to her anyways. So, she needs to have full understanding if he is in your house, his intentions are not good. He is an immediate threat and should be treated as such. You might think that this is implied, but if you do not prepare for that eventuality, she will be unprepared and at risk because of sentiment.

Very good advice all. We had a talk last night about what would happen if he came in and she actually told me without me mentioning it that if he came in our house his intention was to do harm and she would treat it s such. She has always been a strong supporter of women protecting themselves by force if necessary.

also we believe he lives in the denver area and we know he was down here on Xmas at her work, we don't believe he lives here in springs but it is close enough to keep an eye out.

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Originally Posted by SuperiorDG

Why do I get the feeling something bad is about to happen?

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My feelings reflect yours as well...