Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He just stares at it and dares it to grow.
Printable View
Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He just stares at it and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, Chuck Norris invented every color of the visible spectrum except pink... Tom Cruse invented pink
When Chuck Norris goes for a swim in the ocean he doesn't get wet, the ocean gets Chuck Norris
Life is a game, and Chuck Norris makes the rules.
Chuck Norris jokes are so bad not even Chuck Norris thinks they are funny.
He thinks nothing is funny though.
Although the Optimus Prime and Barry Bonds ones made me chuckle.
If you and I were to fight, Chuck Norris would win.
M16- The Right Arm of the Free world
AK47- The right arm of the rest of the world.
Mosin Nagant- The right arm of Chuck Norris
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can win connect four in three moves
Giraffes didnt exist until Chuck Norris uppercut a horse
Chuck Norris's Daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Once Death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris can turn off the light and kick your ass before the room gets dark.
My son left his Chuck Norris action figure in my Daughter's room now all of her Barbies are pregnant.
Chuck Norris named his legs Law and Order and in middle that's named Special Victims Unit.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands... They are now known as the Islands.
Chuck Norris put Humpty Dumpty back together again
Chuck Norris doesn't need a control key on his keyboard because he is always in control.
Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.
Tapeworms give food to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' account at match.com was immediately teminated because no one is a match for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten
Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California
Ya'll got issues.
Especially Ranger[Tooth]
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.
All humans used to be immortal. Chuck Norris invented death just so he could get rid of some.
Best political commercial EVER.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjYv2YW6azE
Right now, somewhere on earth, Chuck Norris is slaying a dragon...with his pinky.
Awesome!Quote:
Originally Posted by mevshooter
Chuck BADASS Norris approved......FOR SURE!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ranger
Am I the only one that thinks this thread is Chucked up?
I could knock out chuck in one punch.[Beer]
My friend and karate instructor (Johnny Gorrell) was on Walker Texas Ranger. He got his ass kicked by the bad guy.[ROFL1]
I'd say Johnny Gorrell could kick Chuck's ass. Just saying........and I'd bet money on it. LMFAO!!![ROFL1]
now thats a good commercialQuote:
Originally Posted by mevshooter
Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.
Sometimes, just for fun, Chuck Norris likes to stroll around the summit of Mt. Everest while smoking a cigar.
When Chuck Norris gets drunk, he doesn't throw up... he throws down.
Achilles is supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot: the Achilles tendon. Notice, there is no Chuck Norris tendon.
The 'c' in Einstein's 'E = mc^2' equation originally stood for Chuck Norris. But Einstein realized no human mind could fully grasp the concept of Chuck Norris multiplied by Chuck Norris, so he dumbed it down to something easier to understand, like the speed of light.
Chuck Norris has been the "Employee of the Month" at the buffet down the street from me every month since they've opened. He's never even been there.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
All of it.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.