And vice versa!Quote:
Originally Posted by KestrelBike
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And vice versa!Quote:
Originally Posted by KestrelBike
"Joke'em if they can't take a fuck".Quote:
Originally Posted by KestrelBike
(edit-damn you TFOGGER!)
A couple I always get amused by:
"Theft is only Illegal because the government hates competition."
"Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."
"If common sense is "common", then why do the majority of people lack it?"
" F!@# em in the neck " and " Don't let your meat loaf "....
[Beer]
If it hurts dont do it
Suck it up and act like a man
You cumn guzzling gutter slut
GMTA Bert [Beer][Pepsi]Quote:
Originally Posted by BPTactical
Go F*ck Yourself
-Stupid is what stupid does
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
"Half of everyone is below average".
"You are what you do."
"You ever consider late-term self abortion?"
"Where's your sign?"
"Did you sell your car for gas money?"
"If ignorance truly is bliss, then I do believe you're the happiest person I have ever met."
"You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence."
"Excuse me... I couldn't fu**in hear you blathering on and on...
Bullocks.
It's all shits and giggles until somebody giggles and shits
Walk it off.
Momma said if you can't say anything nice about someone. Do it in writing and hand it to them! GFYS!!
"Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest".
"Busier than a one armed paper hanger".
"I don't mind coming to work but I hate to wait 8 hours to go back home".
Enlisted man to another enlisted man in the Army, "Don't call Sir, I'm just as good as you are".
"If bull shit was music, you'd be a brass band"
"If bull shit was water, you'd be the Atlantic, Pacific and the Dead Sea".
"Do unto others before they do unto you".
"Here's to ya, asshole"[Beer]
Walk it off.
Hold my beer and watch this shit
"Stop asking so many questions and just serve your purpose."
Do as I say, Not as I do!
"I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire"
"its enough to piss a white man off" (old LVHPD chiefs favorite)
"You talking to me?"
Almost forgot, No Duck Soup For You!
Shoot 'em in the face!
"All I know is my gut says maybe"
Blind acceptance is a sign of stupid fools who stand in line.
It is better to travel alone then to travel with a bad partner.
Friends help friends move.
Real friends help friends move bodies.
Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around... and please don't try to shove it down my child's throat.
Shoot
Shovel
Shut up
Work:
I'm like a hard Peter I just go where I'm shoved.
Life:
Fvck em all but six, gotta have Paul bearers.
Assholes:
Is your wiener long enough to touch your b-hole? Yeah? Well then go fvck yourself.
Sensible Gun laws.
Do it for the Children
If it saves one life wouldn't it be worth it?
OOPS THOUGHT THIS WAS THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE FREE FOR ALL[ROFL1][ROFL2]
Either TANSTAAFL or RTFM
There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
Read The Freaking Manual
Say the first to Obamanoids and the second to any idiot asking you how to do something before they even TRY to figure it out for themselves.
Oh yeah, was just watching one of my favorite movies so have to add these:
"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining."
"Dying ain't much of a living, boy."
About my favorite Futurama quote ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by th3w01f
"If I die, tell my wife, 'Hello.'"
I really liked that book. Most of those quotes I really enjoyed, but I think it's because I didn't get too wrapped up in that book as a life manual. Richard Bach does good airplane-and-flight-centric fiction, but if I got too wrapped up in that part, I'd stop enjoying the writing...Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Wall
Same thing with Jonathan Livingstion Seagull....
My favorite quote: "Go Team!" My Company gave me a pretty neat decorative knife that they engraved that onto.
Useful Expressions for your next meeting
1) I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2) What part of "NO" don't you understand?
3) How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
4) It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6) Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
7) You are validating my inherent mistrust of others.
8) I'm already visualizing the duck tape over your mouth.
9) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
10) Some day, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
14) You sound reasonable...time to up my medication.
15) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
16) How do I set a laser printer to stun?
17) Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
18) Not the brightest crayons in the box now, are we?
19) And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be?
20) Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
21) I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
22) Don't feel bad, a lot of people have no talent!
And yes I have used just about all of them ....
If it doesn't work, plug it in, if it still doesn't work, turn it on!
I can do anything, but I can't do everything.
Excuses are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.
FOAD
If i wanted your opinion I would give it to you....
When I want your opinion I will pull your string....
Referring to a young man who has not yet reached maturity,
he is said to be "still wet behind the ears".
Doubt if more than a couple here have heard of THAT old saying.[Tooth]
"Finer than hair on a frog"
"Worthless as tits on a bull"
"Raining cats and dogs"
"Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs"
"Nervous as a whore in church"
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."
"A church is not the less sacred because curs frequently lift up their leg against it, and affront the wall: It is the nature of dogs." Cato's Letters.
DID YOU BOTHER USING THE SEARCH FUNCTION!!!!![Bang]
one that i use a lot is "mark it eight dude".
another is "eight year olds dude"
If I'm having a bad day, it is usually summed up with..
"If it was raining titties, I'd get hit in the face with a dick"
Drink water, drive on.
I don't speak retard.
Not my dick, not my problem.
That's more fucked up than a football bat.