Need cheering?
Start a fight with someone who has the hiccups.
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Need cheering?
Start a fight with someone who has the hiccups.
No, you're not fat dear, just more visible.
Husband: - WOW you look great, did you do something different with your hair?
Wife: Dear, I'm over here, leave that woman alone.
Why do men say ladies first?
For the view.
Have a sunburn & cant sleep because the sheets are scratchy?
Viagra
Whats worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Knowing it was traced.
Women can fake orgasims.
Men can fake relationships.
Little boy asked Santa for a baby sister.
Santa said - Point to your mother.
Whats the difference between your job & your wife?
5 years & which still sucks.
Ba dum tss......
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles
: D
Oh man, haha.
A blonde city girl named Amy marries a
Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows,
the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to
impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above
where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is
when he gets here, OK?" The rancher leaves for the fields. After a
while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front
door. “I came to inseminate the cow,” he said. Amy takes him down
to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Amy sees the
nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here." The man, assuming
he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me, lady, 'cause I'm
dying to know. How would YOU know that this is the right cow to be
bred?" "That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its
stall," she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the
nail for?" The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her
shoulder, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on,” she replied.
A woman walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a double entendre.
So he gives it to her.
Whats the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
The taste
Whats the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber.
Unexpected sex can be a wonderful way to be woken up on your birthday
So long as you're not inmate 431657
1 more
What do you do when you come across an elephant on the Savannah?
Get it a damp towel.
That's MY joke. Where did you hear that?Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickNorris
(Pssst... don't look over your shoulder)
That's what they told me in prison...Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickNorris
Oh fu......!!!
lmao
A man was driving down the road in the country. He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field. He stopped and picked up the pig.
He was driving around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees him and pulls him over. Cop says "Hey! What are you doing with that pig in the car?"
The driver says, "Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the field."
The cop says, "I want you to take that pig to the zoo!" The driver agrees he will take the pig to the zoo.
So the next day the cop sees the guy driving around again and pulls him over. "What are you doing? I thought I told you to take that pig to the zoo!"
"Well I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time we are going to the ball game now."
I don’ t get this oneQuote:
Originally Posted by ChickNorris
you just want to hear her explain it...Quote:
Originally Posted by Scanker19
; )
If erotic is using a feather, what's kinky?
The whole chicken
Blind man walks into a bar...
And then the table, and two more chairs...
Whats the difference between a nice girl & a good girl?
NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his dad was a wafer so long.
Did you hear about the guy who invented lifesavers?
They say he made a mint.
A steak pun is a rare medium done well.
Forrest Gump's password?
1forrest1
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice & laundry soap?
Someone told her they were both concentrated.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fshhh
Without geometry life would be just pointless.
What does a hipster weigh?
And the ever known....
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
Aka Dinner!
Ba dum tss....