Joke of the Day

[GilpinGuy]

What's worse than having ants in your pants?

Uncles

[ChickNorris]

: D

[Irving]

Oh man, haha.

[TFOGGER]

A blonde city girl named Amy marries a
Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows,
the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to
impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above
where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is
when he gets here, OK?" The rancher leaves for the fields. After a
while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front
door. “I came to inseminate the cow,” he said. Amy takes him down
to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Amy sees the
nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here." The man, assuming
he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me, lady, 'cause I'm
dying to know. How would YOU know that this is the right cow to be
bred?" "That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its
stall," she explains very confidently.

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the
nail for?" The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her
shoulder, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on,” she replied.

[ChickNorris]

A woman walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a double entendre.


So he gives it to her.

[ChickNorris]

Whats the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?


The taste

[ChickNorris]

Whats the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

[ChickNorris]

Unexpected sex can be a wonderful way to be woken up on your birthday


So long as you're not inmate 431657

[ChickNorris]

1 more

What do you do when you come across an elephant on the Savannah?


Get it a damp towel.

[Irving]

A woman walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a double entendre.


So her gives it to her.

That's MY joke. Where did you hear that?