Divorced guys: When did you know it was over

sorry to hear about this man..:( My advice is to sell everything to a friend you can truly trust. sell them for normal amounts of money with the understanding that when you are back on your feet you can buy them and everything back.

get your ducks in a row now as well. I had a friend get divorced and it was going to be civil. He had a good business, 2 beautiful houses, boats, cars everything. He built it all before he met her. Now? he lives in an apartment and she lives in the house he bought with some other dude who now drives his boat. Divorces are not civil.

i also say try and work it out. tell her exactly how you feel and try and have her tell you how she feels.

I am unemployed at this time. If you want me to follow her I will...lol.

joe

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Originally Posted by DD977GM2

In Colorado, it is a no fault state. Adultery has no bearing on the divorce case what so ever. She could be railed by every CO citizen and would still not hold any weight in court.

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Good info. I didn't know that.

No Fault State means a whole lot more. My suggestion to you is look it up and read about it. You have no kids, again, what this means is all you have to do is split shit up that you aquired together. If she is working or has worked while you have been married, you don't have to worry about alimony. If you owned it before you got married, it is yours, plain and simple. Same thing with her and her shit. If you want something that you aquired while being married to her, sell it to a friend. You don't actually have to sell it, just write out a recipet for whatever ammount of money looks good, you both sign it, make copies, *give him the original* which you might need later. Then there is no money between the two of you to worry about later. When it comes down to it if she and her lawyer ask what you did with the money you got from the stuff, you simply tell them, you spent it. They can't do shit about it at that point. But, you need to do it before you bring up divorce, once that word hits the air, they can fight you on anything, make the recipets date to before the D word ever came out.

If I'd shot her when I met her, I'd be half way through my sentence.

One other thought here - if you guys have a (or more than one) joint bank account, she can legally go clean out every cent you have and there isn't thing one you can do about it. If you have any joint credit cards, same thing. She can run them up and you are legally obligated. Just some things to keep in mind.

Yep, they sure can, my second x sold my 68 camaro right before she asked for the divorce, nothing special, just a nice old restored camaro. Put the money somewhere and used it later after it was final.

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Originally Posted by spyder

I fucking hate cxnts... Sorry.

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I rather enjoy them immensely.....................it is the life support system for them that is a PITA!







I'm jus sayin.........

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Originally Posted by spyder

"No Fault State means a whole lot more. My suggestion to you is look it up and read about it.

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Originally Posted by spyder

You have no kids, again, what this means is all you have to do is split shit up that you aquired together. If she is working or has worked while you have been married, you don't have to worry about alimony..."

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I’m not “pokin’” on spyder here, afterall, he's shared great advice, get yourself educated, and I'm sure you will. I'm just using the quote above as an opportunity to share “more of my shitty, worthless advice.”

My qualifications to respond:

1. Very little to none, I am not a lawyer, have not had anything beyond traditional undergrad-level education and none of that in the Legal realm ever extended beyond Business & Finance related law.

2. I know very, very little of CO statutes re: dissolving a marriage and I have never executed a “divorce” in CO so no experience here.

3. But…I have had the pleasure [Puke] of executing the separation and dissolution process (“divorce”) in its entirety in a ‘No-fault” state (lived the ride…fuuuccckkkk…what a shit-fest and…mine was not nearly as contentious as most) so I’m going to re-state the following.

Once more, no matter where you stand financially today or where you think you will or will not be tomorrow and in the future, get an experienced divorce attorney, preferably female, with a proven success history, period. Do not fuck-around, find the money and get a good lawyer.

Kids or no kids, short or long-term marriage [talkin' outta my ass...I believe the legal community recognizes “10-years or more” as the general precedent for defining long-term] if you are in a “No-fault” jurisdiction you still need strong representation biased in your favor to ensure your financial interests at a minimum are crisply handled without threat. Examples in response to the “don’t worry about it” comment.

Point one: If the spouse lawyers’ up, anticipate equalization of the finances and some assets during separation, typically, the spouse with the strongest financial position is in the negative position. Translated to the real-world; I had to assume all existing primary liabilities & debts during the process period and I was ordered to also pay monthly “alimony” [under the guise of “Maintenance Fees”, nice term, eh?] to ensure my future Ex could establish alternative residency and maintain her life-style within reason. Bottom-line – I got all the bills, she got the new Acura, a new apartment, half of the short-term savings account and then…I also HAD TO PAY A MONTHLY MAINTENANCE FEE” (i.e. send the cash baby) befors even getting to the Final Judgment.

Point-two: I’m not going into detail but I will say this; “ensure your portfolio and more importantly your future earnings and / or future earnings potential are fully protected to the extent possible" (ß good, experienced lawyer required). Translated to the real-world; after all the hagglin’ challenges (won some lost some) I still ended-up being pigeon-holed into making a lump-sum payment to protect my future interests. (i.e. drop this big chunk of cash on me now and we’ll let you have protection that I won’t “come back at you in the future”). I had to pay in bulk, money I did not have, so that I would not have to continue to pay “alimony” for an additional 3 years in my case, and to receive protection from future action. Money well-spent for the peace of mind I obtained.

My circumstance: Not very contentious, we maintained a decent relationship and respect for one another throughout, good attorneys on both sides of the fence fortunately and unfortunately, no kids, far from wealthy, but I made a decent wage with potential and she did not. Not pretty for me at the time but...once that date was reached and judgement was executed, I was free-n-clear.

Look to your future and not just the present is my rambling point. Get a lawyer if you take this beyond an internet thread… 2c

Good luck man, these times in life just f****** suck and there's no short-cuts. Once you come out the back-side though..woooo hoooo...life is good.

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Originally Posted by cebeu

Do not fuck-around, find the money and get a good lawyer.

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as the sayin Goes, Pay me now or pay me later.

I will interject the only advice that hasn't been said thus far: you truly don't know someone until your start divorcing them. In my personal and observed experiences, women get more evil and vindictive than the husband ever anticipates...