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HOAs became popular as people started realizing they could no longer afford flight to keep themselves in a good neighborhood. So they created an artificial system (more gov) and it's been modestly successful--but it is voluntary which is key. Our house is now 20 years old and the neighborhood is very desirable. Compare to Aurora where I grew up and in 20 years ('77-95ish) it went completely downhill.
HOAs have certainly gone full potato in some places! WC is full of closeted and not-so-closeted Lib statists who love this kind of stuff.
HR isn't that bad as long as you don't intentionally test the rules. There are many violations, some on my own block, that have gone unnoticed. Other odd things do get noticed but are minor (leaving the trash cans out too long).
If you compare some HOAs to some city's ordinances, the HOAs are sometimes better, and you have more legal protection.
But it's not for everyone. If I had all the toys/time I wanted I probably wouldn't live here. Since I am money/time limited, all I need for now is a house in a safe neighborhood for the family, and decent resell value.