Dating advice, or Redneck's dear diary thread

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Originally Posted by Ronin13

Unless you chase after some college babes or even a recent grad... [Coffee]

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Or fat liberals who work in the insurance industry!!![LOL]

Mine came with an extra pussey.............cat................

That's enough baggage for me!!!!

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Originally Posted by GilpinGuy

Disclaimer: I didn't marry until I was 40 yo. My wife was 36 and married (common law) once before and had 3 kids before we met.

Ok, now that that is out of the way, here's my 2 cents FWIW:

Date her for a while and see what's up. You'll figure out if there's a lot of drama and baggage with her ex, etc. really quick and you'll have to assess the situation further then. Tons of bullshit = see ya. Relatively stable and down to earth = continue on. Of course you could be the "savior" type and save her from a nasty ex. Your choice.

Play with her daughter, feed her and change her. If this is a totally repulsive act to you....not a good sign.

If you end up loving this woman, you need to love the child as well - no exceptions. I was apprehensive about this myself. My fiance had 3 kids! It's fucking scary to start thinking, "Oh yeah, I'll just take in these kids...." when I never once had a kid of my own to begin with. But it is a MUST that you commit to the children as well as the woman if you do get serious.

This girl has a 15 month old little girl. If you end up sticking with this woman, you will basically be "daddy" to this little girl. This happened to me. I met my wife when her youngest son was just under 2 yo. He calls me dad now. Soooooooo cool to me. I love this boy just like he was my own. Eventually I will adopt him officially, but that's another story.

And I had a little girl with my wife in October. She is the best thing to ever happen to me.

That's it. Good luck man.

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+1

As a man with 2 ex-spouses, these are plain truths written in simple form.

Take your time. If you do commit, which it seems by your question, isn't yet; you also commit to the child.

There's one thing that would make me really skeptical. The kid is only 15 months old and she's dating. Now this greatly depends on how you met her, but I'd be a bit worried she's either more worried about finding help with the kid ie needs a daddy, or is more worried about her own wants/needs than the kid's, and if that's the case it WILL continue and likely that will include infidelity in the long run, or up and deciding to just split, or who knows. The point about how you met, if you met at a bar or the usual pickup routes, that's what would be the red flag to me, whereas if you've known her for a while or got "set up" by mutual friends or something, it wouldn't be as much of a red flag to me. ie if she was out hunting, or not.

But I'm a bit jaded as I seem to have a talent for getting blind sided by women.

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Originally Posted by redneck122

I'm still a youngin. 22 yo

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I was married for 44yrs, before I lost my wife to cancer, we were 19 yrs old when we got married. My advice for what its worth is,
take your time,get to know her and her child. Like some of the others have said there may be more baggage than what you want,
but if she loves you and you love her and the baby GO FOR IT. True love is Damn hard to find. Take your time get to know her.
Good luck

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Originally Posted by Gman

I must be really good because I found one. She's amazing. But I must say that I wasn't really "looking" for her and she wasn't looking for me. Just passed our 3rd anniversary and it keeps getting better.

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Congrats, when's the parole hearing;)