Easiest way to file for divorce?

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11-08-2016, 21:06
trlcavscout

Easiest way to file for divorce?

I have a couple questions for those who have gotten divorced. Without any lawyers involved, both parties agreeing on everything etc. I am trying to make this as easy as possible and with less trips to the courthouse.

I have been looking on the state and weld county websites and they say to fill out the first two forms and go file, then wait for the court to ask for the rest, can you just fill out all the necessary forms and take them all in at once?

And can they notarize them at the court or do you have to pay to have them all notarized somewhere else?
11-08-2016, 21:11
SideShow Bob

That's what she says now, Get an Attorney NOW!........ Been through it 3 times, trust me.
11-08-2016, 21:16
jmg8550

Never divorced, but have been around several. Lawyer up.
11-08-2016, 21:18
izzy

Possibly the only topic that can stress me out more than the election right now. Also, get a lawyer.
11-08-2016, 21:28
Dave

Get a lawyer. Start interviewing ASAP with them and check any reviews available on them.
11-08-2016, 21:28
GilpinGuy

My wife and her X tried the "let's all get along" thing and it burst into flames in court when the judge said "Ok, Mr John, you will be responsible to Mrs. Jane XXX for child support each month...."

Mr. John freaked and said "We agreed that.....this and that". It doesn't matter. Plug in the numbers and the all-knowing State determines who owes what to who. No negotiation here.

It turned into a 2 year shitstorm.

Save yourself the time and grief and get a lawyer.
11-08-2016, 21:31
Irving

Is it too late to try and fix your marriage? I wish we'd see more DIY Fix Marriage threads instead of all these divorce threads. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
11-08-2016, 21:37
trlcavscout

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irving

Is it too late to try and fix your marriage? I wish we'd see more DIY Fix Marriage threads instead of all these divorce threads. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

Yes
11-08-2016, 21:42
Irving

I'm sorry to hear that. I would drive to your house and lend you some books tomorrow if it weren't. :(
11-08-2016, 21:45
DFBrews

Lawyer

3 people I work with are dealing with it and it started out fine then went to hell.
11-08-2016, 21:48
Rucker61

Quote:

Originally Posted by trlcavscout

I have a couple questions for those who have gotten divorced. Without any lawyers involved, both parties agreeing on everything etc. I am trying to make this as easy as possible and with less trips to the courthouse.

I have been looking on the state and weld county websites and they say to fill out the first two forms and go file, then wait for the court to ask for the rest, can you just fill out all the necessary forms and take them all in at once?

And can they notarize them at the court or do you have to pay to have them all notarized somewhere else?

I was divorced in a different state, but it was very similar with a DIY. No kids, and no blowup. Cost less than $200. How well do you trust your wife?
11-08-2016, 21:49
Spdu4ia

I've done it twice , once with a lawyer and once without. Once in this state and once in another state. Do NOT go into it without knowing what your doing! Definitely at least talk with one , I highly recommend retaining one. Divorce is expensive but going in blind can be wwwaaayyyyy more expensive. No matter how much you think you trust you soon to be Ex-wife people do the craziest things when backed into a corner. How would you react if she tried to nail you to the wall?
11-08-2016, 21:49
DFBrews

Things Like Half your 401k is hers

along with life insurance
11-08-2016, 21:55
trlcavscout

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rucker61

I was divorced in a different state, but it was very similar with a DIY. No kids, and no blowup. Cost less than $200. How well do you trust your wife?

I have one kid full time who wont live with her, and a younger one that I have more then 50% of the time. According to the calculator she owes me child support which I don't want. Their are a few other financial factors that will keep her from arguing anything as well. If she doesn't cause problems it will be better for her so I really don't expect any problems. She left me for another guy and is accepting responsibility for what she did. We filled out the first two forms jointly and we will be filing them Friday.
11-08-2016, 21:56
Spdu4ia

Shit , you left out that you had kids... There is no question. LAWYER

that makes things 100x more complicated, sorry man
11-08-2016, 21:59
trlcavscout

Quote:

Originally Posted by DFBrews

Things Like Half your 401k is hers

along with life insurance

And half of the bill for the 401k loan we took out for vacations last year. Luckily I haven't contributed much to my 401 so half of whats left in there right now isn't a big deal, but her paying for half of the loan would be a big deal for her.
11-08-2016, 22:01
asmo

You can have the same lawyer represent the both of you. Sooooooo much cheaper.

I did it that way and it was simple and awesome.
11-08-2016, 22:27
crashdown

Lawyer or hit-man... your choice, but seriously...
Asmo is correct. That's what I did, shit went south years later over child support issues and such, but a single lawyer while you guys are getting along is way cheaper, and easier. Make sure YOU hire the lawyer and they are your lawyer when it's over.
You won't be getting along in a year or two guaranteed.
11-08-2016, 22:53
Great-Kazoo

LAWYER . Pay now or end up paying later
11-08-2016, 23:09
Dlesh123

At least talk to a lawyer, she has already shown you that she is not trustworthy.
11-08-2016, 23:28
Great-Kazoo

Quote:

Originally Posted by trlcavscout

I have one kid full time who wont live with her, and a younger one that I have more then 50% of the time. According to the calculator she owes me child support which I don't want. Their are a few other financial factors that will keep her from arguing anything as well. If she doesn't cause problems it will be better for her so I really don't expect any problems. She left me for another guy and is accepting responsibility for what she did. We filled out the first two forms jointly and we will be filing them Friday.

Until she realizes your house is worth $$$ with 1/2 going to her.. Any debt, guess who will be stuck with it. YOU!
11-08-2016, 23:30
buffalobo

Sounds like you and future ex have a plan agreed upon, what if judge disagrees?

Retain an attorney.

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11-09-2016, 00:17
COcz

Are you a male? In Colorado? Definitely lawyer up no matter what.
11-09-2016, 05:58
thedave1164

Lawyer up, my BIL and cousin both tried this and both got screwed, I told them to lawyer up but they wanted to be amicable.

Find the meanest dirtiest divorce lawyer you can, that way you are in control and then you can be nice, but you will have the ability to get nasty quick if necessary.
11-09-2016, 08:09
Scanker19

I'm with foxtrot, if you guys can agree on things at least the major things, do mediation. It's cheaper than attorneys, and I think better. Cost me $400 to include the paper work, submitted it to the court on a Monday, had it back the following Wednesday signed and approved. Never even saw the inside of a courtroom. Of course your miliage may vary and what not, but if it's amicable keep it that way.
11-09-2016, 08:32
William

My ex wife and I both lawyered up. Both lawyers wanted to drag it out as long as possible and my ex and I basically had to come up with the agreement ourselves anyway. Could have saved $10,000+ by going a different direction. Ours was not simple as we had kids, houses, etc.

If you can do mediation or one of the companies that just puts the paperwork together based on your agreements (google fort collins cheap divorce etc) it is much better than both lawyering up. If it falls apart, then you can always get a lawyer.
11-09-2016, 14:43
HoneyBadger

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation - all the divorce stories here make me sad. :(

I wish you the best in recovering from this life-changing event.
11-09-2016, 14:54
spqrzilla

I have had to clean up several DIY divorces. Huge financial messes, property ownership and debts not accounted for, nor resolved.

I do recommend a lawyer. And I've seen a lot of very bad non-court "mediation" situations such that I wish I could but can't recommend them.
11-09-2016, 16:13
TFOGGER

I'll chime in here. I have never gone through a divorce, but a good friend of mine is going down that road now. They were all amicable initially, made an agreement, he was very generous(paid off her truck loan (35K), wrote her a 40K check, etc.), no minor children, should have been a done deal. She convinced him to delay finalizing for 2 months, during which she hired a lawyer, who is trying to go after him for alimony, even though she has a full time job and makes almost as much as he does. Now he's starting over with a lawyer, and it'll end up costing him a shit ton to resolve. Nobody wins but the lawyers at this point.
11-09-2016, 16:46
MED

I was divorced in 2013. We did not get attorneys involved. We filled out the financials, disclosed them to each other, told each other what we wanted to do, compromised, filled out the division of property, submitted the paperwork, reviewed by the magistrate, and it was done. We never saw the inside of a courtroom (Jeffco). Our divorce cost us the filling fee; that's it. We did not have kids together so that was not a complication.

In contrast, my neighbor next door; his wife got attorneys involved. They will basically walk away with nothing and a mountain of debt because of the court battle. If they had just sat down and divided their property equally, created a parenting time plan, and support plan; it would have been over. Instead, they are both screwed. They had a 3/4 million dollar home, recreation property, you name it, they had it all. They now have nothing.

I guess the best advise is know your wife's temperament; if she is rational, work it out and fill out the docs. If not, get an attorney and God help you.

Edit: I forgot to mention something else. Divorce or any kind of dispute is psychological. Regardless of who did what, remain kind and respectful; you married this person for a reason so remain respectful regardless of what she's done. Also, be flexible; there are multiple ways to divide property that is equitable for both of you. If your wife feels as though she has options and choices, she will be far more responsive. Don't be rigid and demanding so that barriers develop. Also, if kids are involved, whatever you do...work together. Your kids will be so much better off if you can put aside your differences. I have a son who's mom and I work together and split time equally; he is a well adjusted teenager. My ex wife, who I just divorced; her and her ex were at war with each other and their kids were a train wreck.
11-09-2016, 16:50
Kraven251

Kids involved, cheating involved, limited resources on her side, get a lawyer.
11-09-2016, 21:10
JohnnyDrama

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kraven251

Kids involved, cheating involved, limited resources on her side, get a lawyer.

My first wife came home one night and told me she was done being married. End of discussion. I didn't know what was going on in her head but there was no reasoning with her. We did not have kids, and all I had was camping gear, a kayak, and some rifles. Basically nothing she wanted from me. She had a butt-load of debt. We had nothing of value between us. I took the initiative and went to a friend who walked me through the County Clerk process. She went to a lawyer who seemed to do the same thing I did. The papers were basically identical. I have no idea how much that cost her but, interestingly, when I went to see said lawyer, he and his clerk greeted me as a long lost friend and seemed like they'd much rather deal with me than her. I left hoping he wasn't going to be stiffed. I really think I got lucky. I'm confident that had there been children or a house I would have been screwed big time. I strongly advise some sort of legal protection.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HoneyBadger

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation - all the divorce stories here make me sad. :(

I wish you the best in recovering from this life-changing event.

Big plus one there. Even though I feel like I dodged a bullet, it was the lowest time of my life. Get together with friends and pursue a hobby together. I had some great friends when I was going through my divorce.
11-09-2016, 21:26
Irving

"No fault" generally doesn't mean what it sounds like, and although I've been able to avoid divorce thus far, I'm willing to bet that it also has nothing to do with cheating either.

Also, while I can't give great advice here, in the case of this divorce (at least for now) there is someone else involved, and you can bet that he'll be having an opinion on what she should and shouldn't do as well. If it wasn't the new guy, then it'd be her friends. Fortunately, and sometimes unfortunately, we don't exist in little bubbles and are influenced by others.
11-10-2016, 11:23
Wulf202

I don't have anything to say about the divorce advise.

If you need an ear or shoulder. I'm just down the road. You have my cell. Feel free to use it.
11-10-2016, 12:28
Firehaus

I'd set up some interviews with divorce attorneys so you'll be ahead of the game if/ when mediation goes bad. Always good to have a plan B.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
11-11-2016, 10:52
Kraven251

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxtrot

Colorado is a no fault state, so the cheating is irrelevant to a divorce court and does not influence child allocation, distribution of assets or anything else. Generally speaking you usually won't even be able to bring it up in court.

except cheating is a mindset thing...they have reached a mental point where they don't actually give a shit and will risk what they have for something else. It isn't about the legal manifestation, it is about the mindset and what that means when stressed, like in front of a judge.