Getting a Divorce

So as you might surmise by the title my life kinda sucks right now. It has for a while though and honestly I feel more relieved than upset about it now that my wife has left me. Normally I don't vent personal problems on here but I figure that there might be a couple people out there that could give me some good advice. It has been a rough couple months, and the worst part is that I have been (and will be for a while) so broke that I cant even bring myself to look at the trading post. Sucks ass. But either way the split was mutual, we agree on property division and have no children.

My motto used to be try everything once, but now after trying marriage, fuck that. I guess that now I get to try divorce too. Man I just cant wait until the smoke blows over and everything is finalized. Anyone out there considering getting married, you better be damn sure that you have everything nailed down and agree on everything before you pop the question. I'm not exaggerating, literally everything that is important to you. I thought that we could work some of that stuff out with time, but the truth is you cannot change someone and they will be who they are now and forever. I'll probably be that bitter a-hole that is always on here because I cant afford to do a damn thing else for a while, so don't hold it against me. Thank God I bought enough reloading supplies to keep me busy and shooting for a while.

Sucks now, but it will get a lot better. My marriage was so stressful before the divorce I was having panic attacks. Now everything is great and life is much better. Things end for a reason, and you will see this clearly one day.

sorry to hear this although I think you will find greater happiness in the end

Been there buddy. I was in a holding pattern for a while. Don't say you will never get hitched up again you never know who will walk into your life.
Keep your head up and smile. Things will turn and before you know it you will be back in the trading posts and the game.

Sorry to hear about that man. I know how you feel, my girl and i didn't really work out either, and we have a kid together so it makes it that much harder. Just keep your head up and never lose sight of who you are, like stated above it didn't work out for a reason and with time it will be a sigh of relief.

Divorce really sucks. But it sounds like you are smart in cutting your losses and moving on. I wish you all the best

I've been there as well. I came out so much better on the other side. Bury yourself in some work or a hobby and have some fun that you couldn't have before.

On the bright side, this is the best part of your situation:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Danimal

But either way the split was mutual, we agree on property division and have no children.

---

My divorce was the same, and all it cost me was $75 to file the paperwork with the court. I feel bad for these fellas that go through it and it costs them everything they have.

just got divorced and am 1111000% feeling better. PM me if you want to talk

What's the saying I'm thinking of? Something along the lines of "only one vagina, the rest of your life." Well, that's not the case for you anymore my friend. Look on the bright side ;).

Also, don't worry about being a bitter a-hole on here, unless it goes on forever. That's what online forums are for, right? Don't we generally give each other props for our "rant" threads anyway!?

Deleted

Good luck, my sympathies.

Women want to feel secure

Men want to feel significant

Don't sweat the little things

Everything is a little thing

Works for us for the last 32 years

Living well is your best revenge. After seeing disabled veterans suffering more than me, I am glad to be alive! Life is short, enjoy it to the max and realize you are free!

Hang in there it will get better. My son just went though a divorce and is much happier w/o her! He also got custody of his daughter!

It really makes me sad to hear of such break up's. Hearing these kinds of stories just reminds me just how fortunate a bunch of us, still old married guys, have been.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Danimal

I think that the filing fee is $195 now. I hope that it as easy as it could be.

---

$285 in Jeffco I believe

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Danimal

But either way the split was mutual, we agree on property division and have no children.

[...]

...but the truth is you cannot change someone and they will be who they are now and forever.

---

Those were probably the two most important lines to keep in mind.

Having BTDT, just go through the process and get it over with. Everything gets a whole lot better from here on out, as trite as it may sound, it's true. By all means indulge in what you want to do. It's important to create some sort of upside to this situation to help see the light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck, and hang in there!

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)

Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)

Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)

Always look on the right side of life...

People change the same way that glaciers change; either so slowly over so long a time as to be undetectable by the constant observer, or they calve in half unexpectedly and reek hell on everything around.

But I digress. You came to an agreement on property, and you have no kids. Better to come to this conclusion and make a clean break before things got a lot more complicated.

From a legal perspective, I see a lot of divorces that were done half-assed. Property settlement agreements that were not followed through upon, or never completed at all.

Don't do a divorce half-assed. Get it done right and completed. Get all property retitled correctly, get mortgages refinanced or get out of the property.

Saw a case recently where a woman needed to get a mortgage modified, and the bank would have done so, if the ex-husband had signed over authority to her. But he'd disappeared after the divorce, the property settlement had never been finished and so wasn't a court order (in which case, the court would have signed for him). Bottom line, couldn't modify mortgage, couldn't short sale, property went to foreclosure and ruined her credit.

Cheap, half-assed divorces are a bad idea.

Sorry to hear pal, keep your head up and god bless you.

The nutshell version.

It sucks now. It will suck for the near future. You will get through it. It will get better.

Good luck. [Beer]

no one else has said this .. but I will


GET A LAWYER.

My ex and I seemed to have it all worked out .. and were going to split it off all fair....


then she got a the idea to get mean about it. I dunno where she got it exactly .. but in conversations years after the fact ... her has eluded to her family pushing her into it .

She had a lawyer I didn't (I could not afford one.). I had to buy my own jeep back from her ( was in her name for a short time.. I owned it 3 years before we even met) had to pay all of our mutual bills and pay for her lawyer. Cost me 12K all because I didn't have a lawyer. yeah I got railroaded.

At least talk to one and be ready .

Moral of the story .. never trust a woman in a divorce. She might get a wild hair up her ass and pound you.

I've never been married, and after all the friends that have gone through the same thing. I dont think I want to!! Hope it works out for you!!!! If you want to talk, send a PM. [Beer]

I've been there, done that twice now. I'm on my third, and glad I kept to it. Some things I will say though, be friends first, have a long "relationship" second, and get married if it lasts and you can't be without eachother third. It was the last two that I failed at one after the other with the first two marriages. That is all of my relationship (leading to marriage) advice that I have. [Beer]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by clublights

no one else has said this .. but I will


GET A LAWYER.

My ex and I seemed to have it all worked out .. and were going to split it off all fair....

[...]

Moral of the story .. never trust a woman in a divorce. She might get a wild hair up her ass and pound you.

---

Crap, that's some good advise there. Apparently my cynical attitude has worn down a bit. lol

Anyway, good words there. Even though it was uncontested, I did run our agreement past an attorney (best $250 I've spent) to make sure I was covered. He included several clauses in the agreement that I would have otherwise not known about.

I definitely would recommend chatting with an attorney, even if for just an hour -- it can save you quite a bit of trouble in the long run...

This probably isn't the reply you are hoping for, but if it was
mutual..... Your golden. Don't be bitter. You got out easier than most.
Enjoy your new life and don't look back. Get off you putty pot and be thankful
you are not dragging kids through a divorce and then dealing with your ex for
the rest of your life. No alimony, no child support and minimal amount for a lawyer.

FWIW I spent $20k on my divorce to ensure I didn't become a weekend Dad.
Like the saying goes, it can always be worse.

Now ya know... Why make one mad when you can make 'em all happy?!?

Why is Divorce so expensive..???







































Because its worth it.

Happily divorced.

The Sun will come up again.
Don't wait for it, Just keep living and enjoying this time of your life.

Chin up brother, it will get better

I am going through this right now as well.

...she is leaving, I don't want her to go, can't do anything about it except pick up the pieces and move on. No new kids, both of us had kids and my son is heartbroken about them leaving too.

I have been married twice. First marriage was rough, my friends called it a starter marriage. No kids, just a house and dogs to fight over. My first wife was anti gun, vegetarian, kind of aloof but she was smoking hot. I married her for that reason. I wanted children but she was worried about her figure. After a year we got divorced. The next years were spend dating and having fun. Eventually I met someone that I fell in love with. Now we have children, a home, and she is ok with my political views. We don't agree on everything but we are a team. She was never married before but we courted for 2 years and we just passed 6 years now. What I learned after the first marriage was to find someone that loved me for being me. I love her for being her.