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Splays for the Bidet
The other day my wife and I were driving home and she randomly goes, "I'm so glad you don't watch football." Why would I? I hate it. I never got to choose what was on at grandma's house cus my uncle and grandfather were glued to the screen while a bunch of nearly retarded man-children hit each other in full pads. As one of our visiting fellow Boy Scouts from the Isle of Man said when he saw American football for the first time, "Pads? what a bunch of girls!"
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