Sister in law punched wife-options?

[TheBelly]

My sister in law is mentally unstable, and has been in and out of institutions for a long time. Last night she decided to randomly PUNCH MY WIFE IN THE MOUTH in the middle of a restaraunt, in front of my daughter. She's 17 or 18 and her spineless parents said NOTHING at all to her. This is not the first time this has happened. I am in Afghanistan, so I am limited in what I can do. I want to file a restraining order on the bitch or something. I refuse to let my wife and daughter to be exposed to that garbage. I sure wish my wife had pressed charges on the spot, but she didn't. What options do I have?

Josh.... what in the H is your SIL thinking?

If I can help, give a holler.

[sniper7]

I would take your your in laws. express your concerns and let them know you will not have this and if it happens again you will be pressing charges and have her ass thrown in jail.

Also explain to you wife that this is abuse. this isn't like when they were kids and fought. The example for your daughter is the biggest issue.

[josh7328]

The example for your daughter is the biggest issue.

This. This is the only reason that I'm glad my wife didn't smash her head in with a chair or something. And you're exactly right. this isn't like when they fought as kids.

[josh7328]

Josh.... what in the H is your SIL thinking?

If I can help, give a holler.

I don't know sir. She's the product of being raised with zero discipline. She doesn't make the connection between actions and consequences. Her parents screwed up by blaming all of her misbehavior on her problems and neglecting to provide necessary discipline. They spared the rod, and it DEFINATELY spoiled the child.

[funkymonkey1111]

It's pretty simple to me, but I know it will be harder for your wife. She has to cut off her sister completely and if her parents will not respect her wishes, they have to be cut off completely also. It's the only thing that works, but it's going to HAVE to be your wife that drops the hammer on it.

This is where its going to have to come from. You said this wasn't the first time--it's a little unclear if your wife had stated she didn't want to be around the sister, but if she had, then why was she in the restaurant?

If I'm misunderstanding this, sorry--but you aren't going to be stopping this from Afghanistan--your wife is going to have to draw the line and make it stick for the sake of your daughter. If she allows any further contact then the consequences are on her.

Sorry to hear all this--this sounds like a messy situation that's not going to have a pleasant ending.

[Pancho Villa]

Tell your wife to talk to her parents, and tell her that she can't tolerate those sorts of outbursts and so to not bring the sister along. Period. As in, if she comes along, turn 180 degrees and walk away sort of thing.

You don't need to be hostile about it, neither does she. But you do need to set some firm boundaries and make sure that the parents know to respect her wishes. No one ought to be out in a social situation wondering if they're going to be assaulted.

[ChadAmberg]

Tell your wife to talk to her parents, and tell her that she can't tolerate those sorts of outbursts and so to not bring the sister along. Period. As in, if she comes along, turn 180 degrees and walk away sort of thing.

You don't need to be hostile about it, neither does she. But you do need to set some firm boundaries and make sure that the parents know to respect her wishes. No one ought to be out in a social situation wondering if they're going to be assaulted.

This. Once or twice going to see the parents in a restaurant, and when they see your wife turn around, get in the car, and leave, they should get the hint.

It's very difficult. I know, my wife hasn't spoken to her parents since the late 90s. No contact at all. It's for the best, their pictures should be hung next to Hitler, Mao, and Stalin, but it still hurts her every single day. The alternative is worse some times though.

[00tec]

I'd get my wife a taser, but that's just me.

[Clint45]

It's pretty simple to me, but I know it will be harder for your wife. She has to cut off her sister completely and if her parents will not respect her wishes, they have to be cut off completely also. It's the only thing that works, but it's going to HAVE to be your wife that drops the hammer on it.

I agree with this ^ 100%.

I hope your wife has reliable, non-dysfunctional friends in the area aside from her family to give her support. She is probably used to being pushed around and bullied by her family and will be extremely reluctant to cut them out of her life. I am so sorry you are dealing with this bullshit on a deployment. This may need to wait until you get back to deal with properly, but by then hopefully she'll be in full agreement that cutting off contact with her family is the right thing to do.

[Irving]

Didn't read the whole thread, but basically what SAFriday said. We've had to do something similar.