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  1. #1
    65 yard Hail Mary
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    Default You may be Taliban if...

    1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

    2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

    3. You have more wives than teeth.

    4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon 'unclean.'

    5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

    6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

    7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

    8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

    9. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'

    10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

    11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

    12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

  2. #2
    Gives a sh!t; pretends he doesn't HoneyBadger's Avatar
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    C-Springs again! :)
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    Default

    Awesome!
    My Feedback

    "When law and morality contradict each other, the citizen has the cruel alternative of either losing his moral sense or losing his respect for the law." -Frederic Bastiat

    "I am a conservative. Quite possibly I am on the losing side; often I think so. Yet, out of a curious perversity I had rather lose with Socrates, let us say, than win with Lenin."
    ― Russell Kirk, Author of The Conservative Mind

  3. #3
    Grand Master Know It All Sharpienads's Avatar
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    Default

    Those are pretty good!
    Kyle

    Girlscouts? Hmmm, I don't know... I think it's kinda dangerous to teach young girls self esteem and leadership skills.

  4. #4
    Retired Admin
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    Default


  5. #5
    A FUN TITLE asmo's Avatar
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    May 2012
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    Douglas County (Parker)
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    Default

    dirka dirka
    What is my joy if all hands, even the unclean, can reach into it? What is my wisdom, if even the fools can dictate to me? What is my freedom, if all creatures, even the botched and impotent, are my masters? What is my life, if I am but to bow, to agree and to obey?
    -- Ayn Rand, Anthem (Chapter 11)

  6. #6
    Missing Man on a Milk Carton islandermyk's Avatar
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    Virginia
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tor Larson View Post
    #13 Your hero/prophet was an illiterate slacker who had no job, heard voices, liked little boys(popped his favorite goat's cherry around age 3), believed in assassination, theft, slavery, and murder, and prayed to a moon god (Allah).

    I couldn't help it




    I'm going back to my corner now
    Whore monger Mike!

    Slinging coconuts since ever since...

  7. #7
    Joey Trebbiani wannabe RonMexico's Avatar
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    Jun 2012
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    CO Springs
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    Default

    Spot on brother, nice post

  8. #8
    Master of the Metallic Element Tinelement's Avatar
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    Default

    Great laugh!

    Loved #2

  9. #9
    65 yard Hail Mary
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tor Larson View Post
    #13 Your hero/prophet was an illiterate slacker who had no job, heard voices, liked little girls (popped his favorite wife's cherry around age 9), believed in assassination, theft, slavery, and murder, and prayed to a moon god (Allah).
    Oh now you've done it. They're gonna see this and start rioting in the streets. Shame on you for speaking truth about their beloved leader.

  10. #10
    Guest
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    Default

    I am nominating this as post of the Month

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