Divorce, so close!

[Tim K]

I'm not a marriage counselor, but I sit on the board of directors of a group that does counseling. They only counsel couples that are critical. Most are on the edge of divorce or already in the middle of it. In many, many cases there have been one or more affairs.

Our success rate is North of 90%. That's no BS, and we've been doing it for 9 years now. Considering the divorce rate for first time marriages hovers around 50%, it's pretty amazing.

I said all that to say this: nearly all marriages can be saved. In fact, based on our experience, the only ones that can't are those where one or both quit.

Our group uses techniques and tools from all over the counseling world. Training is continuous. These are not so-so counselors, they are superb.

Find one like that, or I can possibly help point you in the right direction if you have an interest. It is a Christ centered philosophy, so if that doesn't work for you I may not be able to make a good recommendation.

Regardless of your spiritual leanings, the principals of a happy marriage are about universal, so it's just a matter of finding someone who knows them.

Good luck!

[BigBear]

Good news! My wife and I have had some rough moments, but it's a great reward when you know you both are on the same page. I'll be prayin' for you!

[MCarp71]

That is great man, I am very happy for you. The wife and I went through the same thing. Ended up in counseling for a year, It taught me that I was still in love with her too! I know it's cleche, but live everyday like its your last with her, and more important Don't go to bed mad! That has helped me so much.

Good Luck with your future with her Brother!

[alxone]

right on ! its always nice to know that people still try to work it out

[theGinsue]

I was in your shoes back in '99 - 10 years into my marriage. Until the point where I almost lost my wife and kids I had been an @$$ and taken them for granted. She was adament about a divorce.

I made a lot of personal changes. We finally got some marrital counseling (which helped her realize that she was a part of the problem in the relationship and it wasn't all me).

I never knew such pain in my life as the pain I experienced when I thought I'd lost them forever and that I loved them more than anything else.

It took hard work. It took time (hell, we're still "working on it" to this day). The result is that we are closer and relationally better of every day that passes than we ever were. There was a lot of pain and hurt along the way, but never as bad as the first 10 years of our marriage.

One needs only sit quietly and really consider what is truly important in their life & decide if the effort is worth it. Of course, it takes both members to remain committed for it to work.

Glock21, I'm thrilled to hear that you and your wife are giving yourselves another chance. Don't believe for an instant that it won't be hard work and that there won't still be pain. Part of love is pain & work. But, if this is something that you've both truly committed to above all else, then you WILL succeed.

Best of luck and my thoughts & prayers out to you both!

[Singlestack]

One needs only sit quietly and really consider what is truly important in their life & decide if the effort is worth it. Of course, it takes both members to remain committed for it to work.

Man, is this ever true. About 2 years ago I was probably 1 sentence away from calling it quits. It took an evening with myself and my thoughts really exploring what I wanted and what the best outcome was. Not great, yet, but at least we are civil and respectful all the time now. Definitely a work in progress, 28 years so far. Ginsue really should be a marriage counselor!

Singlestack

[MrPrena]

Great news.

[wctriumph]

Women need to feel secure

Men need to feel significant

That is hard work for the both of you

Worked for me and mine for 32 years now

[KevDen2005]

I'm not a marriage counselor, but I sit on the board of directors of a group that does counseling. They only counsel couples that are critical. Most are on the edge of divorce or already in the middle of it. In many, many cases there have been one or more affairs.

Our success rate is North of 90%. That's no BS, and we've been doing it for 9 years now. Considering the divorce rate for first time marriages hovers around 50%, it's pretty amazing.

I said all that to say this: nearly all marriages can be saved. In fact, based on our experience, the only ones that can't are those where one or both quit.

Our group uses techniques and tools from all over the counseling world. Training is continuous. These are not so-so counselors, they are superb.

Find one like that, or I can possibly help point you in the right direction if you have an interest. It is a Christ centered philosophy, so if that doesn't work for you I may not be able to make a good recommendation.

Regardless of your spiritual leanings, the principals of a happy marriage are about universal, so it's just a matter of finding someone who knows them.

Good luck!

And you stayed in a Holiday Inn Express?!

Seriously, that's really awesome. I am happily married and get extremely annoyed when people ask me how married life is and I say that it's good. Then those people say, that will change. I just wanna punch them in the face. Don't bother me with the your BS or your failed marriages and even if I was having a rough married life I wouldn't tell them anyway.

[Tim K]

No offense intended, but you're not too likely to know if a couple ultimately splits up a year and a half after your groups sessions. Not like they are going to give you a cold call and yell at ya.

No offense taken. I didn't mention that we follow up with these people for years and years. We would indeed know.