I was in your shoes back in '99 - 10 years into my marriage. Until the point where I almost lost my wife and kids I had been an @$$ and taken them for granted. She was adament about a divorce.

I made a lot of personal changes. We finally got some marrital counseling (which helped her realize that she was a part of the problem in the relationship and it wasn't all me).

I never knew such pain in my life as the pain I experienced when I thought I'd lost them forever and that I loved them more than anything else.

It took hard work. It took time (hell, we're still "working on it" to this day). The result is that we are closer and relationally better of every day that passes than we ever were. There was a lot of pain and hurt along the way, but never as bad as the first 10 years of our marriage.

One needs only sit quietly and really consider what is truly important in their life & decide if the effort is worth it. Of course, it takes both members to remain committed for it to work.

Glock21, I'm thrilled to hear that you and your wife are giving yourselves another chance. Don't believe for an instant that it won't be hard work and that there won't still be pain. Part of love is pain & work. But, if this is something that you've both truly committed to above all else, then you WILL succeed.

Best of luck and my thoughts & prayers out to you both!