Ok, worst Christmas present this year...

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Originally Posted by KevDen2005

The invitation can't be from the trespasser...i.e. they invited themselves or let themselves in.

I didn't invite them. They just showed up because someone on my wife's side of the family told them about my gathering. They took it upon themselves to get too intoxicated on alcohol that I provided to drive and I didn't think I should let them go out and kill one of you guys.

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But were the allowed inside by yourself or your wife?

Lyft prices weren't bad on Christmas Eve. Thornton to Golden for only $26.

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Originally Posted by Ronin13

Picture of the same kind of bone he ate:
https://www.nylabone.com/-/media/Ima...w/NX933P_1.png

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Glad you were able to fix him up.. Nylabone makes different "toughness" bones and toys. For our new one, we had to go to their "Dura-Chew" versions because she shredded a few of the moderate ones, but luckily didn't eat them the bits (or at least not enough of the bits to cause issues)

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Originally Posted by Irving

I wrapped a fire extinguisher for White Elephant. I knew someone was going to think it was a bottle of wine.

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I'd easily take a fire extinguisher over a bottle of wine.

Attachment 72957

Does this count?

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Originally Posted by CavSct1983

But were the allowed inside by yourself or your wife?

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I think we're talking about two different things. The first being the actual law. The second being annoying family. They were allowed in, so not trespassing. They showed up on their own as only an annoying person related to my wife's side of the family can do.

Wife got me this "Echo Dot" Alexa contraption. I don't know wtf she was thinking, she knows I have no interest in that silly shit. Very little interest in most technology actually.

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Originally Posted by rondog

Wife got me this "Echo Dot" Alexa contraption. I don't know wtf she was thinking, she knows I have no interest in that silly shit. Very little interest in most technology actually.

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Again, send it to me. I'll take it off your hands & end all of your pain and suffering as it applies to this subject now. I'm just such a good team player like that.

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Originally Posted by Jer

Again, send it to me. I'll take it off your hands & end all of your pain and suffering as it applies to this subject now. I'm just such a good team player like that.

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Right decent of ya Jer! Don't know what to do with it yet, but I damn sure don't need or want some friggin' contraption to turn shit on and off for me.

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Originally Posted by Holger Danske

I got a head cold, yay!

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My daughter gave me a nasty chest cold. Booo.

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Originally Posted by rondog

Right decent of ya Jer! Don't know what to do with it yet, but I damn sure don't need or want some friggin' contraption to turn shit on and off for me.

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I'm nothing if not a team player.

I've got a smart home controller do we've got some of these strategically throughout the house. They get used quite frequently for turning lights on & off mostly with the occasional weather check.

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Originally Posted by rondog

Right decent of ya Jer! Don't know what to do with it yet, but I damn sure don't need or want some friggin' contraption to turn shit on and off for me.

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Already have a Clapper, do you?

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

The wife and I exchange wish lists on Amazon. She literally just bought me all of it.

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Originally Posted by hobowh

A friend gave his stepson a beginners anal fantasy kit because he would not tell him what he wanted for christmas.

The best part was his aunt is a nurse and took every item out and explained what it was for

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OMG! That's funny right there.

Any bets as to whether or not his stepson has a list next year?

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

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Originally Posted by Ridge

My sister's dog dropped dead a few minutes after they arrived.

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The worst so far.

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Originally Posted by Ronin13

My 6month old puppy decided to eat a nylabone on Friday night. He ingested it and it clogged him up. Enough that we took him to the vet on Saturday, they did x-rays, saw his stomach was full, waited 4 hours, x-ray again, still full. Administered peroxide to make him vomit, and he threw up 4 equally sized pieces of it that had been jamming up the works. $400 later he's back to normal. So not exactly the worst present, we got to keep a healthy puppy, but at the cost of $400 he sure has expensive taste!
Picture of the same kind of bone he ate:
https://www.nylabone.com/-/media/Ima...w/NX933P_1.png

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Best lesson learned...... ALWAYS have peroxide on hand when you have a puppy or even a grown dog. It will save you a ton of $$$$$$$$ and vet visits. I learned this lesson the same way you did.

Had to use peroxide on my old pup Mugsy when he found and ate a pill our other dog had gotten tricky and spit out. Saw it just a second too late to grab it. Peroxide got it out before it had dissolved in his stomach.

Do note: peroxide looses it's effectiveness over time... if you've got an old bottle, throw it out and pick up a new one.

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Originally Posted by rondog

Right decent of ya Jer! Don't know what to do with it yet, but I damn sure don't need or want some friggin' contraption to turn shit on and off for me.

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If Jer hadn't offered to take it off your hands, I'd have given ya something for it. :-D

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Originally Posted by buckshotbarlow

Not a gripe thread, but what was your worst Christmas present seen or given?

I got a android tablet, will never ever use it...

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Make/Model?

Didn't need or want anything in particular.

Under duress, I asked for some new t-shirts. That's all. Some 9-line, maybe a few "Awesome T's" I had tagged.

Got one cool grandpa shirt in the wrong size (too small) and a couple crooked ass home-made awesome T knock-offs.

OTOH, I did get a Samsung Gear S3, so that was pretty cool of everyone that pitched in for it.

Best gift ever was most of the immediate family together this year, spending time with both my boys and the two grandsons.

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Originally Posted by brutal

If Jer hadn't offered to take it off your hands, I'd have given ya something for it. :-D

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Wife is gonna check with her AA girls, most of them are young enough to dig it. I'm just too old and disinterested in techy stuff like that. I probably use 1% of what my smartphone is capable of, just don't care about all that shit. Don't have enough brain cells left to fight it.

I got a bunch of damn Californians moving in...

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Originally Posted by MrPrena

The worst so far.

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I don't know man, I think Bailey Guns has it worse.

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Originally Posted by KevDen2005

I don't know man, I think Bailey Guns has it worse.

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Yup.

I can choose to not have a dog.

I can't choose to not have Californians.

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Originally Posted by KestrelBike

My 14 year old orange tabby starting to have bad kidney issues : ( Looks like I'll be giving him subcutaneous fluids twice a week to keep his fluids level constant. And the K/D (kidney-friendly diet) is not exactly cheap. I'm going to keep him going for as long as he's comfortable, though. He's been a fantastic cat- never scratched or hissed at anyone, serious hit with the ladies, etc. Love that guy.

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Don't give him tap water- use distilled water. The crap they put in tap water isnt good for anyone, much less a cat. I'm sorry that you're going through this- one of our cats had kidney issues.

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Originally Posted by rondog

Wife got me this "Echo Dot" Alexa contraption. I don't know wtf she was thinking, she knows I have no interest in that silly shit. Very little interest in most technology actually.

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My wife's boss gave her one of those Alexa things for Christmas... It's actually kind of neat- you can just yell at it all day "Alexa, play iHeartRadio, 630 KHOW." "Alexa, tell me a joke." "Alexa, STFU!" I even tried to have fun and ask "Alexa, when will Skynet become self-aware." Didn't work though.

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Originally Posted by colorider

Best lesson learned...... ALWAYS have peroxide on hand when you have a puppy or even a grown dog. It will save you a ton of $$$$$$$$ and vet visits. I learned this lesson the same way you did.

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Yeah, usually you learn from mistakes- this was an expensive one. He eats all sorts of things, and has been nicknamed "The Destroyer." We've lost toys that we've had for over 10 years!

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Originally Posted by rondog

Wife got me this "Echo Dot" Alexa contraption. I don't know wtf she was thinking, she knows I have no interest in that silly shit. Very little interest in most technology actually.

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She probably thought she was buying the Silver version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk

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Originally Posted by Irving

She probably thought she was buying the Silver version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk

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LOL, I just posted that on FB and tagged my wife.

My aunt makes these little decorative doily things that can double as christmas tree ornaments. I have no use for them, but it's the thought that counts, I guess.

BINGO!

No matter what advantages these devices might provide, I see the disadvantages outweighing them. Thanks, but no thanks.

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Originally Posted by foxtrot

I just don't like big data having access to 24/7 voice recordings to archive for all time.

At some point in the future it will be a slam dunk to prosecute no matter innocence, you will always have damning evidence.

Impeachment:
"You previously testified you didn't know anything about MesoTeraTetrhydronicyclonicBiNucleicAcid" and never heard of it? (Total bullshit, don't google it).
"Oh, so you conveniently forgot that you asked Alexia 25 years ago to this day about this exact type of poison?"

GUILTY


Darker days are coming down the road from the nanny state. I'd rather they not have a better memory of what I said than I do.

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That is an interesting point... albeit a bit tin foily, but with the way things are going, this wouldn't surprise me. Good thing all we talk about in our kitchen is what's for dinner and that funny thing that happened on the way to the forum.

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Originally Posted by Ronin13

That is an interesting point... albeit a bit tin foily, but with the way things are going, this wouldn't surprise me.

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Already being done:

http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/2016/1...ss-Prosecution
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/interne...r-case-n700776

Then, there's this: Parrot Activates Alexa When Mimicking Owner, Places Online Order
Reminds me of this:

I'm finding applicability for limited mobility. I can't just roll over and stretch to reach the lamp on the bedside table at bedtime anymore. Certainly won't be able to do it after 2 more spinal surgeries in January. Being able to get the Echo Dot to do it with an "Alexa, turn off/on the bedroom light" is very handy.

That's easy to solve. Alexa can just be programmed to Mirandize you every time you use it.

And those jelly belly beans are awesome. I've tried several, including bike and vomit flavored, and they are spot on. Disgusting but funny.

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Originally Posted by foxtrot

I just don't like big data having access to 24/7 voice recordings to archive for all time.

At some point in the future it will be a slam dunk to prosecute no matter innocence, you will always have damning evidence.

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This has already happened in a murder case. Amazon wouldn't provide the info if I can remember correctly. I'll do some googling.

Edit : Ginsue posted it already...

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Originally Posted by foxtrot

As for a sort of awesome, sort of horrid gift: "Bean Boozled" by Jelly Belly. Look in the holiday section at Kroger.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/09...g?v=1482177359

Holy. hell. This stuff is no joke. After christmas dinner, we all played Russian Roulette with candy. It will not become a family tradition. The one complete "game" is good enough for life. You expect it to be kinda-sorta bad. But no, they aced this stuff. Spoiled milk isn't like - a week past expiration. Spoiled milk is you just took a swig of something that's been sitting in the sun in summer for three days. It's probably the worst. Dead fish is waaaay up there too. At one point one got stuck on my tooth and I almost puked on the table trying to get it out.

What makes this awesome though, is get some, and slip a few beans into the existing jelly-bean bowl at work or what have you. Hilarity will ensue, just disavow any connection to it. Don't put this out all by itself, make sure people get used to taking fistfulls of "good" beans first.

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The barf one is the WORST.

The thing with the jelly beans, is that more often than not, if you have someone eat one, and don't tell them what it's supposed to taste like, they think it tastes like something else, often times something good. Once they've chewed a few times, if you tell them what it is, then everything hits and it much more funny.