As a kid, my parents (divorced, but all the same) NEVER stood up for me. I was a good kid, thankfully. But I knew that if I got into deep shit NO ONE was there. I still have the same feelings about them. I've actually been considering an Official Rant due to recent events because I feel they are so ridiculous. To this very day I know my parents aren't there for me or my children. In the long run you need to be there. Discipline is far from punishment. Charge her for the lawyer. Make her do the yard work for a year. I don't know you but I feel that you need to do whatever YOU feel is necessary because if this is the first trouble you've had, you're doing pretty damn well as a parent.