Joke of the Day

[Ronin13]

In my job in the Air Force, the nomenclature for the portable radios we use start with PRC (Portable Radio Communications, pronounced "prick"), i.e. PRC-117, PRC-148, PRC152, etc. So whenever we get new guys, we'll send them to the Senior or Chief's office to ask if there's a PRC-E7 or PRC-E8 in there...

Nice!
I know a lot of the current and former service members here will appreciate this one:

A young PV2 fresh out of basic is riding a train home. In the same room as him are an old woman, a young, attractive college aged girl, and an older 1SG. The train goes through a tunnel and it goes completely dark for almost half a minute. In the darkness there is the sound of a kiss then a loud *Slap!* When the train exits the tunnel the 1SG is holding his cheek and everyone is left with their thoughts.
'Serves that man right for trying to kiss that young girl,' thinks the old woman.
'Who would want to actually kiss that old bag?' thinks the young girl.
'Was that just a case of mistaken identity?' the 1SG thinks.
Then the PV2 thinks, 'Hahaha! I can kiss my hand and slap a 1SG and no one knows any better!'

[Scanker19]

ID10T forms, rifle reports, chem light batteries, box of grid squares.....

Being Armor we would try to get the new guys to check for soft spots on the armor with ball peen hammer.

[Ronin13]

Letter recently sent from the Reagan family to would-be Presidential assassin John Hinkley (I lived behind his parents growing up):
To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.. In our fine country’s spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a nonpartisan consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.

The Reagan family and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.

[n8tive97]

*LITTLE GIRL ON AN AIRPLANE*

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an
airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to
talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation
with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book,little
replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to
talk about?"

“Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why
there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after
death?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but
let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a
deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes
little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but
a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no
idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel
qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven
or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

[mcantar18c]

*LITTLE GIRL ON AN AIRPLANE*

I just posted that one on the last page... probably one of my favorites


The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol for the President.
It is half black, half white, and everything it does stinks.

[n8tive97]

I just posted that one on the last page... probably one of my favorites


The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol for the President.
It is half black, half white, and everything it does stinks.

Sorry.... I will use that the next time I get that challenge from an atheist.

[mcantar18c]

Sorry.... I will use that the next time I get that challenge from an atheist.

As will I... no worries, it was good to read it again.

[mcantar18c]

A southern West Virginia preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am offended and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

[AirbornePathogen]

ID10T forms, rifle reports, chem light batteries, box of grid squares.....

"All right, Airborne, I need you to head down to supply and get me a coil of flight line, a bucket of prop wash, an M203 blank adapter, a set of Humvee spark plugs, and a Mk 19 spare barrel."

Good times, good times...

[WiseAsset]

A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."

The German doctor comments: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

A Russian doctor says: "That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA (about 2 years ago) we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no balls....we made him President of the United States, and now....... the whole country is looking for work !!!!!!"